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1 ;;; "Flame" program. This has a chequered past.
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2 ;;;
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3 ;;; The original was on a Motorola 286 running Vanilla V.1,
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4 ;;; about 2 years ago. It was couched in terms of a yacc (I think)
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5 ;;; script. I pulled the data out of it and rewrote it as a piece
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6 ;;; of PL/1 on Multics. Now I've moved it into an emacs-lisp
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7 ;;; form. If the original author cares to contact me, I'd
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8 ;;; be very happy to credit you!
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9 ;;;
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10 ;;; Ian G. Batten, Batten@uk.ac.bham.multics
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11 ;;;
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12
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13 (random t)
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14
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15 (defvar sentence
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16 '((how can you say that (statement) \?)
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17 (I can\'t believe how (adjective) you are\.)
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18 (only a (der-term) like you would say that (statement) \.)
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19 ((statement) \, huh\?) (so\, (statement) \?)
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20 ((statement) \, right\?) (I mean\, (sentence))
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21 (don\'t you realise that (statement) \?)
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22 (I firmly believe that (statement) \.)
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23 (let me tell you something\, you (der-term) \, (statement) \.)
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24 (furthermore\, you (der-term) \, (statement) \.)
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25 (I couldn\'t care less about your (thing) \.)
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26 (How can you be so (adjective) \?)
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27 (you make me sick\.)
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28 (it\'s well known that (statement) \.)
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29 ((statement) \.)
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30 (it takes a (group-adj) (der-term) like you to say that (statement) \.)
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31 (I don\'t want to hear about your (thing) \.)
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32 (you\'re always totally wrong\.)
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33 (I\'ve never heard anything as ridiculous as the idea that (statement) \.)
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34 (you must be a real (der-term) to think that (statement) \.)
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35 (you (adjective) (group-adj) (der-term) \!)
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36 (you\'re probably (group-adj) yourself\.)
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37 (you sound like a real (der-term) \.)
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38 (why\, (statement) \!)
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39 (I have many (group-adj) friends\.)
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40 (save the (thing) s\!) (no nukes\!) (ban (thing) s\!)
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41 (I\'ll bet you think that (thing) s are (adjective) \.)
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42 (you know\, (statement) \.)
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43 (your (quality) reminds me of a (thing) \.)
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44 (you have the (quality) of a (der-term) \.)
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45 ((der-term) \!)
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46 ((adjective) (group-adj) (der-term) \!)
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47 (you\'re a typical (group-adj) person\, totally (adjective) \.)
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48 (man\, (sentence))))
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49
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50 (defvar sentence-loop (nconc sentence sentence))
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51
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52
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53 (defvar quality
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54 '((ignorance) (stupidity) (worthlessness)
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55 (prejudice) (lack of intelligence) (lousiness)
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56 (bad grammar) (lousy spelling)
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57 (lack of common decency) (ugliness) (nastiness)
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58 (subtlety) (dishonesty) ((adjective) (quality))))
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59
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60
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61 (defvar quality-loop (nconc quality quality))
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62
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63 (defvar adjective
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64 '((ignorant) (crass) (pathetic) (sick)
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65 (bloated) (malignant) (perverted) (sadistic)
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66 (stupid) (unpleasant) (lousy) (abusive) (bad)
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67 (braindamaged) (selfish) (improper) (nasty)
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68 (disgusting) (foul) (intolerable) (primitive)
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69 (depressing) (dumb) (phoney)
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70 ((adjective) and (adjective))
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71 (as (adjective) as a (thing))))
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72
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73 (defvar adjective-loop (nconc adjective adjective))
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74
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75 (defvar der-term
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76 '(((adjective) (der-term)) (sexist) (fascist)
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77 (weakling) (coward) (beast) (peasant) (racist)
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78 (cretin) (fool) (jerk) (ignoramus) (idiot)
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79 (wanker) (rat) (slimebag) (DAF driver)
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80 (Neanderthal) (sadist) (drunk) (capitalist)
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81 (wimp) (dogmatist) (wally) (maniac)
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82 (whimpering scumbag) (pea brain) (arsehole)
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83 (moron) (goof) (incompetent) (lunkhead) (Nazi)
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84 (SysThug) ((der-term) (der-term))))
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85
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86 (defvar der-term-loop (nconc der-term der-term))
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87
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88
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89 (defvar thing
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90 '(((adjective) (thing)) (computer)
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91 (Honeywell dps8) (whale) (operation)
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92 (sexist joke) (ten-incher) (dog) (MicroVAX II)
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93 (source license) (real-time clock)
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94 (mental problem) (sexual fantasy)
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95 (venereal disease) (Jewish grandmother)
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96 (cardboard cut-out) (punk haircut) (surfboard)
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97 (system call) (wood-burning stove)
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98 (graphics editor) (right wing death squad)
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99 (disease) (vegetable) (religion)
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100 (cruise missile) (bug fix) (lawyer) (copyright)
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101 (PAD)))
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102
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103 (defvar thing-loop (nconc thing thing))
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104
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105
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106 (defvar group-adj
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107 '((gay) (old) (lesbian) (young) (black)
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108 (Polish) ((adjective)) (white)
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109 (mentally retarded) (Nicaraguan) (homosexual)
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110 (dead) (underpriviledged) (religious)
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111 ((thing) \-loving) (feminist) (foreign)
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112 (intellectual) (crazy) (working) (unborn)
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113 (Chinese) (short) ((adjective)) (poor) (rich)
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114 (funny-looking) (Puerto Rican) (Mexican)
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115 (Italian) (communist) (fascist) (Iranian)
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116 (Moonie)))
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117
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118 (defvar group-adj-loop (nconc group-adj group-adj))
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119
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120 (defvar statement
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121 '((your (thing) is great) ((thing) s are fun)
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122 ((person) is a (der-term))
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123 ((group-adj) people are (adjective))
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124 (every (group-adj) person is a (der-term))
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125 (most (group-adj) people have (thing) s)
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126 (all (group-adj) dudes should get (thing) s)
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127 ((person) is (group-adj)) (trees are (adjective))
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128 (if you\'ve seen one (thing) \, you\'ve seen them all)
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129 (you\'re (group-adj)) (you have a (thing))
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130 (my (thing) is pretty good)
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131 (the Martians are coming)
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132 (the (paper) is always right)
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133 (just because you read it in the (paper) that doesn\'t mean it\'s true)
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134 ((person) was (group-adj))
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135 ((person) \'s ghost is living in your (thing))
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136 (you look like a (thing))
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137 (the oceans are full of dirty fish)
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138 (people are dying every day)
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139 (a (group-adj) man ain\'t got nothing in the world these days)
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140 (women are inherently superior to men)
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141 (the system staff is fascist)
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142 (there is life after death)
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143 (the world is full of (der-term) s)
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144 (you remind me of (person)) (technology is evil)
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145 ((person) killed (person))
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146 (the Russians are tapping your phone)
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147 (the Earth is flat)
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148 (it\'s OK to run down (group-adj) people)
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149 (Multics is a really (adjective) operating system)
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150 (the CIA killed (person))
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151 (the sexual revolution is over)
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152 (Lassie was (group-adj))
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153 (the (group-adj) people have really got it all together)
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154 (I was (person) in a previous life)
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155 (breathing causes cancer)
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156 (it\'s fun to be really (adjective))
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157 ((quality) is pretty fun) (you\'re a (der-term))
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158 (the (group-adj) culture is fascinating)
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159 (when ya gotta go ya gotta go)
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160 ((person) is (adjective))
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161 ((person) \'s (quality) is (adjective))
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162 (it\'s a wonderful day)
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163 (everything is really a (thing))
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164 (there\'s a (thing) in (person) \'s brain)
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165 ((person) is a cool dude)
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166 ((person) is just a figment of your imagination)
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167 (the more (thing) s you have, the better)
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168 (life is a (thing)) (life is (quality))
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169 ((person) is (adjective))
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170 ((group-adj) people are all (adjective) (der-term) s)
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171 ((statement) \, and (statement))
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172 ((statement) \, but (statement))
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173 (I wish I had a (thing))
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174 (you should have a (thing))
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175 (you hope that (statement))
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176 ((person) is secretly (group-adj))
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177 (you wish you were (group-adj))
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178 (you wish you were a (thing))
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179 (I wish I were a (thing))
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180 (you think that (statement))
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181 ((statement) \, because (statement))
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182 ((group-adj) people don\'t get married to (group-adj) people because (reason))
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183 ((group-adj) people are all (adjective) because (reason))
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184 ((group-adj) people are (adjective) \, and (reason))
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185 (you must be a (adjective) (der-term) to think that (person) said (statement))
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186 ((group-adj) people are inherently superior to (group-adj) people)
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187 (God is Dead)))
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188
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189 (defvar statement-loop (nconc statement statement))
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190
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191
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192 (defvar paper
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193 '((Daily Mail) (Daily Express)
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194 (Centre Bulletin) (Sun) (Daily Mirror) (Pravda)
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195 (Daily Telegraph) (Beano) (Multics Manual)))
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196
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197 (defvar paper-loop (nconc paper paper))
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198
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199
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200 (defvar person
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201 '((Reagan) (Ken Thompson) (Dennis Ritchie)
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202 (JFK) (the Pope) (Gadaffi) (Napoleon)
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203 (Karl Marx) (Groucho) (Michael Jackson)
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204 (Caesar) (Nietzsche) (Heidegger) (\"Head-for-the-mountains\" Bush)
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205 (Henry Kissinger) (Nixon) (Castro) (Thatcher)
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206 (Attilla the Hun) (Alaric the Visigoth) (Hitler)))
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207
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208 (defvar person-loop (nconc person person))
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209
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210 (defvar reason
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211 '((they don\'t want their children to grow up to be too lazy to steal)
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212 (they can\'t tell them apart from (group-adj) dudes)
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213 (they\'re too (adjective))
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214 ((person) wouldn\'t have done it)
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215 (they can\'t spray paint that small)
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216 (they don\'t have (thing) s) (they don\'t know how)
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217 (they can\'t afford (thing) s)))
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218
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219 (defvar reason-loop (nconc reason reason))
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220
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221 (defmacro define-element (name)
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222 (let ((loop-to-use (intern (concat name "-loop"))))
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223 (` (defun (, (intern name)) nil
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224 (let ((step-forward (random 10)))
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225 (if (< step-forward 0) (setq step-forward (- step-forward)))
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226 (prog1
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227 (nth step-forward (, loop-to-use))
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228 (setq (, loop-to-use) (nthcdr (1+ step-forward) (, loop-to-use)))))))))
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229
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230 (define-element "sentence")
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231 (define-element "quality")
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232 (define-element "adjective")
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233 (define-element "der-term")
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234 (define-element "group-adj")
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235 (define-element "statement")
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236 (define-element "thing")
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237 (define-element "paper")
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238 (define-element "person")
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239 (define-element "reason")
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240
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241 (defun *flame nil
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242 (flame-expand '(sentence)))
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243
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244 (defun flame-expand (object)
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245 (cond ((atom object)
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246 object)
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247 (t (mapcar 'flame-expand (funcall (car object))))))
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248
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249 (defun flatten (list)
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250 (cond ((atom list)
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251 (list list))
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252 (t (apply 'append (mapcar 'flatten list)))))
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253
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254 ;;;###autoload
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255 (defun flame (arg)
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256 "Generate ARG (default 1) sentences of half-crazed gibberish."
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257 (interactive "p")
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258 (let ((w (selected-window)))
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259 (pop-to-buffer (get-buffer-create "*Flame*"))
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260 (goto-char (point-max))
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261 (insert ?\n)
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262 (flame2 arg)
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263 (select-window w)))
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264
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265 (defun flame2 (arg)
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266 (let ((start (point)))
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267 (flame1 arg)
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268 (fill-region-as-paragraph start (point) t)))
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269
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270 (defun flame1 (arg)
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271 (cond ((zerop arg) t)
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272 (t (insert (concat (sentence-ify (string-ify (append-suffixes-hack (flatten (*flame)))))))
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273 (flame1 (1- arg)))))
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274
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275 (defun sentence-ify (string)
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276 (concat (upcase (substring string 0 1))
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277 (substring string 1 (length string))
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278 " "))
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279
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280 (defun string-ify (list)
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281 (mapconcat
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282 'symbol-name
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283 ; '(lambda (x)
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284 ; (format "%s" x))
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285 list
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286 " "))
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287
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288 (defun append-suffixes-hack (list)
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289 (cond ((null list)
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290 nil)
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291 ((memq (nth 1 list)
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292 '(\? \. \, s\! \! s \'s \-loving))
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293 (cons (intern (concat (symbol-name (nth 0 list))
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294 (symbol-name (nth 1 list))))
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295 ;;(intern (format "%s%s" (nth 0 list) (nth 1 list)))
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296 (append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 2 list))))
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297 (t (cons (nth 0 list)
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298 (append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 1 list))))))
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299
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300 (defun psychoanalyze-flamer ()
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301 "Mr. Angry goes to the analyst."
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302 (interactive)
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303 (doctor) ; start the psychotherapy
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304 (message "")
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305 (switch-to-buffer "*doctor*")
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306 (sit-for 0)
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307 (while (not (input-pending-p))
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308 (flame2 (if (= (random 2) 0) 2 1))
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309 (sit-for 0)
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310 (doctor-ret-or-read 1)))
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