--- a/QiS/What_are_QiS.xml	Mon Apr 01 10:33:36 2024 +0100
+++ b/QiS/What_are_QiS.xml	Mon Apr 01 11:34:34 2024 +0100
@@ -18,7 +18,17 @@
     writing this I'm attempting to do better, not only with respect to
     what I think is wrong, but also by suggesting how it could be fixed.</p>
     <p>It's not short, and there's an even longer appendix of background
-    detail, so here's a summary:</p>
+    detail, so this section provides a summary.</p>
+   <p>In their cover letter for the draft GD sent to SESAM Trustees on
+2024-01-06, the <name>QiS</name> Coordinating Group says</p>
+<blockquote>"The Options for Scotland group [proposes] that we form a <emph>single
+   charity</emph> and that we form a <emph>single body</emph>. The idea of a single
+   body clearly needs more work to discern what this might look
+   like. It will take time. That idea is not part of what we are
+   asking you about here." (emphasis added)</blockquote>
+   <p>Not including a story about "the body" (which I'll call "the church" for
+now) is the primary source of the problems the GD presents for SESAM.  Until
+this is fixed I recommend that:</p>
     <blockquote>
      <p>SESAM Trustees should advise SESAM that SESAM <emph>should not</emph> agree to
       joining <name>QiS</name> without substantial changes to the governing document,
@@ -27,44 +37,18 @@
       for Britain Yearly Meeting (the charity).</p>
      <p>An updated GD needs to make explicit provision for the possibility
       of SESAM-the-church continuing <emph>as</emph> an Area Meeting while laying
-      down SESAM-the-charity, drawing on the proposed approach to
-      preserving AMs in Wales. There must be clarity on SESAM-the-church's
+      down SESAM-the-charity. There must be clarity on SESAM-the-church's
       status with respect to <name>QiS-the-church</name> and thus with respect to the
       trustees of <name>QiS-the-charity</name>.</p>
     </blockquote>
-    <p>I'll start by identifying the problems I see with the GD, and go on to
+    <p>In what follows I'll start by identifying the problems I see with the GD, and go on to
     outline the kind of changes I think would improve it, to the point
     where SESAM would support the creation of the <name>QiS-the-charity</name> and
     would participate in <name>QiS-the-church</name>.</p>
   </div>
-  <div>
-   <title>A note on terminology</title>
-<p>In their cover letter for the draft GD sent to SESAM Trustees on
-2024-01-06, the <name>QiS</name> Coordinating Group says</p>
-<blockquote>"The Options for Scotland group [proposes] that we form a <emph>single
-   charity</emph> and that we form a <emph>single body</emph>. The idea of a single
-   body clearly needs more work to discern what this might look
-   like. It will take time. That idea is not part of what we are
-   asking you about here." (emphasis added)</blockquote>
-<p>Above I used "<name>QiS-the-charity</name>" to refer to such a charity and
-"<name>QiS-the-church</name>" to refer to such a body.  For simplicity, hereafter
-I'll call the former the <name>SCIO</name>, short for the (proposed) "Scottish Charitable
-Incorporated Organisation" and the latter the <name>RSFS</name>, short
-for the "Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in Scotland".</p>
-</div>
 <div>
 <title>Problems with the GD</title>
-<div>
-<title>The church and the charity</title>
-<p>Making a distinction between the <name>SCIO</name> and the <name>RSFS</name> is explicitly
-modelled on the distinction found in the governing document of
-"Britain Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)
-(Britain Yearly Meeting)" as registered with the Charity Commission
-(charity no. 1127633).  Britain Yearly Meeting (BYM) is (an English)
-Charitable Incorporated Organisation.  Its governing document defines
-that lengthy name as the charity and "The Religious Society of Friends
-(Quakers) in Britain" as the church.</p>
-<p>The GD uses "Quakers in Scotland" for both of these, without
+<p>The GD uses "Quakers in Scotland" for both the charity and the church, without
 ever explicitly acknowledging that they are distinct.  Sometimes
 context makes clear which they are referring to, but not always.</p>
 <p>There are two problems here:</p>
@@ -74,24 +58,19 @@
     describes the matter before the Meeting once as "a single Quaker
     body" and once as "a single Quaker charity / body";</item>
 <item>The very limited nature of what is said, or more often implied,
-    about the <name>RSFS</name>.  This is acknowledged in the quote above: "the
-    body is not part of what we are asking you about here".</item>
+    about the church.  This is acknowledged in the quote above: "[the
+    body] is not part of what we are asking you about here".</item>
 </list>
 <p>These problems arise in large part because, perfectly understandably,
-<name>QiS</name>-CG evidently started with the template for governing documents for
+the <name>QiS</name> Coordinating Group evidently started with a template for governing documents for
 (English/Welsh) CIOs made available by Quaker Life
 (<link href="https://www.quaker.org.uk/documents/cio-constitution-template-agreed-2014">https://www.quaker.org.uk/documents/cio-constitution-template-agreed-2014</link>),
 which embodies the same confusion*.</p>
-<p>Indeed SESAM-the-charity's own governing document is also based on a
-similar, more recent, template for non-incorporated Area Meetings from
-Quaker Life
-(<link href="https://www.quaker.org.uk/documents/governing-document-for-am-cc-approved-11-2022-final">https://www.quaker.org.uk/documents/governing-document-for-am-cc-approved-11-2022-final</link>),
-and so also suffers from these problems.</p>
-<p>But <emph>why</emph> are these problems, and even granted that they are, why do
+<p>But <emph>why</emph> are these problems for SESAM, and even granted that they are, why do
 they need to be fixed <emph>now</emph>?</p>
 <p>They are problems because the existing Area Meetings' responsibilities
 and activities as a worshiping body, governed by Meetings for Worship
-for Church Affairs of their membership as set out in QF&amp;P, are largely
+for Church Affairs of their membership as set out in Quaker Faith and Practice (QF&amp;P), are largely
 distinct from their responsibilities and activities as a charity,
 governed by trustees.  The former consist of, for example, the spiritual and
 pastoral care of their members and their witness to their communities, grounded in our
@@ -99,34 +78,62 @@
 maitaining the Area Meeting's legal status and financial well-being.
 As for Britain Yearly Meeting, whose succinct self-characterisation
 recently has been "A simple church supported by a simple charity", so
-it should be for Area Meetings.  Quaker Faith and Practice has useful
+it should be for Area Meetings.  QF&amp;P has useful
 guidance on this relationship throughout section 15. 15.03 is
 particularly relevant:</p>
 <p>  "The law may assume that authority for determining action
    passes to the trustees and the meeting may choose to do
    this. However, under Gospel Order, the ultimate authority will
    still lie with the gathered meeting."</p>
-<p>This needs to be fixed <emph>now</emph> because it is laid on Area Meeting
+<p>The reasons these problems need to be fixed <emph>now</emph> are</p>
+ <list type="enum">  
+  <item>In general, because the current lack of clarity on the governance
+structure of <name>QiS</name> makes it impossible for the members of SESAM to know how and to what
+extent they will have any say in what happens to their assets and property.</item>
+  <item>In particular, because it is laid on Area Meeting
 trustees to manage the assets of the Area Meeting in such a way as to
 support the charitable objects of the Area Meeting, and without a
 clear understanding of how that will continue to be true once those
 assets are transferred to the <name>SCIO</name>, they would fail in that
 responsibility, which the law expresses as <span>"[they</span> must] seek, in good
 faith, to ensure that the charity acts in a manner which is consistent
-with its purposes".</p>
- <p>More generally, the current lack of clarity on the governance
-structure of <name>QiS</name> makes it impossible for the members of SESAM to know how and to what
-extent they will have any say in what happens to their assets and property. 
-A clear separation between the <name>RSFS</name> and the <name>SCIO</name> is a simple first step towards the necessary clarification.</p>
- <note class="footnote">* East of Scotland AM
+with its purposes"</item>
+ </list>
+ <p>A clear separation between the church and the charity is a simple first step towards the necessary clarifications.</p>
+ <note class="footnote"><p>* Indeed SESAM-the-charity's own governing document is also based on a
+similar, more recent, template for non-incorporated Area Meetings from
+Quaker Life
+(<link href="https://www.quaker.org.uk/documents/governing-document-for-am-cc-approved-11-2022-final">https://www.quaker.org.uk/documents/governing-document-for-am-cc-approved-11-2022-final</link>),
+and so also suffers from these problems.</p>
+  <p>East of Scotland AM
 and North of Scotland AM's governing documents are also based on the
 non-incorporated Area Meeting template.  Stewardship of North of
 Scotland Quaker Trust is identified as a responsibility of NSAM
 Trustees in their Terms of Reference. West of Scotland's document is
 shorter, and perhaps based on an early template, compared to the
-others.</note>
+others.</p></note>
 </div>
+  <div>
+   <title>A note on terminology</title>
+<p>For clarity, hereafter
+I'll call <name>QiS</name>-the-charity the <name>SCIO</name>, short for the (proposed) "Scottish Charitable
+Incorporated Organisation" and I'll call <name>QiS</name>-the-church the <name>RSFS</name>, short
+for the "Religious Society of Friends (Quakers) in Scotland".</p>
+</div>  
 <div>
+ <title>Improving the GD</title>
+ <div>
+  <title>Distinguishing the charity and the church</title>
+  <p>The GD should make a clear distinction between the <name>SCIO</name> and
+the <name>RSFS</name>, modelled on the distinction found in the governing document of
+"Britain Yearly Meeting of the Religious Society of Friends (Quakers)
+(Britain Yearly Meeting)" as registered with the Charity Commission
+(charity no. 1127633).  Britain Yearly Meeting (BYM) is (an English)
+Charitable Incorporated Organisation.  Its governing document defines
+that lengthy name as the charity and "The Religious Society of Friends
+(Quakers) in Britain" as the church.</p>
+ </div>
+ <div>
 <title>The future of the Area Meeting(s)</title>
 <p>The GD should make it explicit that in the first instance
 the four Area Meetings, as well as General Meeting for Scotland, will
@@ -144,7 +151,7 @@
 are best served in smaller constituencies that the <name>RSFS</name>.  We
 understand that some Area Meetings need to unburden themselves quickly
 of some of their responsibilities, but we hope that they will wish to
-retain some of them, particularly membership, pastoral care end
+retain some of them, particularly membership, pastoral care and
 eldership.</p>
 <p>Accordingly, the GD should make clear that for those things
 <emph>not</emph> transfered to the <name>SCIO</name> and/or the <name>RSFS</name>, Constituent
@@ -165,8 +172,8 @@
 <name>RSFS</name> very like the way in which Yearly Meeting and
 Meeting for Sufferings together provide governance for Britain Yearly Meeting
 (the church).</p>
-</div>
-</div>
+</div></div>
+
 <div>
 <title>Some extensive background, which has informed my thinking.</title>
 <p>Thanks to Jackie Noltingk, Erica Thomas and Lesley Richards for