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1 ;;; flame.el --- Automated insults
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2
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3 ;; Copyright status Unknown
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4
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5 ;; Author: Unknown
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6 ;; Adapted-By: Ian G. Batten, Batten@uk.ac.bham.multics
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7 ;; Keywords: games
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8
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9 ;; This file is part of XEmacs.
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10
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11 ;; XEmacs is free software; you can redistribute it and/or modify it
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12 ;; under the terms of the GNU General Public License as published by
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13 ;; the Free Software Foundation; either version 2, or (at your option)
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14 ;; any later version.
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15
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16 ;; XEmacs is distributed in the hope that it will be useful, but
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17 ;; WITHOUT ANY WARRANTY; without even the implied warranty of
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18 ;; MERCHANTABILITY or FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE. See the GNU
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19 ;; General Public License for more details.
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20
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21 ;; You should have received a copy of the GNU General Public License
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22 ;; along with XEmacs; see the file COPYING. If not, write to the Free
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23 ;; Software Foundation, Inc., 59 Temple Place - Suite 330, Boston, MA
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24 ;; 02111-1307, USA.
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25
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26 ;;; Synched up with: Not in FSF
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27
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28 ;;; Commentary:
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29
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0
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30 ;;; "Flame" program. This has a chequered past.
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31 ;;;
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32 ;;; The original was on a Motorola 286 running Vanilla V.1,
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33 ;;; about 2 years ago. It was couched in terms of a yacc (I think)
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34 ;;; script. I pulled the data out of it and rewrote it as a piece
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35 ;;; of PL/1 on Multics. Now I've moved it into an emacs-lisp
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36 ;;; form. If the original author cares to contact me, I'd
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37 ;;; be very happy to credit you!
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38 ;;;
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39 ;;; Ian G. Batten, Batten@uk.ac.bham.multics
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40 ;;;
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41
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72
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42 ;;; Code:
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43 (random t)
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44
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45 (defvar sentence
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46 '((how can you say that (statement) \?)
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47 (I can\'t believe how (adjective) you are\.)
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48 (only a (der-term) like you would say that (statement) \.)
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49 ((statement) \, huh\?) (so\, (statement) \?)
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50 ((statement) \, right\?) (I mean\, (sentence))
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51 (don\'t you realise that (statement) \?)
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52 (I firmly believe that (statement) \.)
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53 (let me tell you something\, you (der-term) \, (statement) \.)
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54 (furthermore\, you (der-term) \, (statement) \.)
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55 (I couldn\'t care less about your (thing) \.)
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56 (How can you be so (adjective) \?)
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57 (you make me sick\.)
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58 (it\'s well known that (statement) \.)
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59 ((statement) \.)
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60 (it takes a (group-adj) (der-term) like you to say that (statement) \.)
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61 (I don\'t want to hear about your (thing) \.)
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62 (you\'re always totally wrong\.)
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63 (I\'ve never heard anything as ridiculous as the idea that (statement) \.)
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64 (you must be a real (der-term) to think that (statement) \.)
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65 (you (adjective) (group-adj) (der-term) \!)
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66 (you\'re probably (group-adj) yourself\.)
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67 (you sound like a real (der-term) \.)
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68 (why\, (statement) \!)
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69 (I have many (group-adj) friends\.)
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70 (save the (thing) s\!) (no nukes\!) (ban (thing) s\!)
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71 (I\'ll bet you think that (thing) s are (adjective) \.)
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72 (you know\, (statement) \.)
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73 (your (quality) reminds me of a (thing) \.)
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74 (you have the (quality) of a (der-term) \.)
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75 ((der-term) \!)
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76 ((adjective) (group-adj) (der-term) \!)
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77 (you\'re a typical (group-adj) person\, totally (adjective) \.)
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78 (man\, (sentence))))
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79
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80 (defvar sentence-loop (nconc sentence sentence))
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81
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82
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83 (defvar quality
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84 '((ignorance) (stupidity) (worthlessness)
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85 (prejudice) (lack of intelligence) (lousiness)
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86 (bad grammar) (lousy spelling)
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87 (lack of common decency) (ugliness) (nastiness)
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88 (subtlety) (dishonesty) ((adjective) (quality))))
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89
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90
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91 (defvar quality-loop (nconc quality quality))
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92
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93 (defvar adjective
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94 '((ignorant) (crass) (pathetic) (sick)
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95 (bloated) (malignant) (perverted) (sadistic)
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96 (stupid) (unpleasant) (lousy) (abusive) (bad)
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97 (braindamaged) (selfish) (improper) (nasty)
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98 (disgusting) (foul) (intolerable) (primitive)
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99 (depressing) (dumb) (phoney)
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100 ((adjective) and (adjective))
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101 (as (adjective) as a (thing))))
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102
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103 (defvar adjective-loop (nconc adjective adjective))
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104
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105 (defvar der-term
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106 '(((adjective) (der-term)) (sexist) (fascist)
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107 (weakling) (coward) (beast) (peasant) (racist)
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108 (cretin) (fool) (jerk) (ignoramus) (idiot)
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109 (wanker) (rat) (slimebag) (DAF driver)
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110 (Neanderthal) (sadist) (drunk) (capitalist)
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111 (wimp) (dogmatist) (wally) (maniac)
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112 (whimpering scumbag) (pea brain) (arsehole)
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113 (moron) (goof) (incompetent) (lunkhead) (Nazi)
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114 (SysThug) ((der-term) (der-term))))
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115
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116 (defvar der-term-loop (nconc der-term der-term))
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117
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118
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119 (defvar thing
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120 '(((adjective) (thing)) (computer)
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121 (Honeywell dps8) (whale) (operation)
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122 (sexist joke) (ten-incher) (dog) (MicroVAX II)
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123 (source license) (real-time clock)
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124 (mental problem) (sexual fantasy)
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125 (venereal disease) (Jewish grandmother)
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126 (cardboard cut-out) (punk haircut) (surfboard)
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127 (system call) (wood-burning stove)
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128 (graphics editor) (right wing death squad)
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129 (disease) (vegetable) (religion)
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130 (cruise missile) (bug fix) (lawyer) (copyright)
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131 (PAD)))
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132
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133 (defvar thing-loop (nconc thing thing))
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134
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135
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136 (defvar group-adj
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137 '((gay) (old) (lesbian) (young) (black)
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138 (Polish) ((adjective)) (white)
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139 (mentally retarded) (Nicaraguan) (homosexual)
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140 (dead) (underpriviledged) (religious)
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141 ((thing) \-loving) (feminist) (foreign)
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142 (intellectual) (crazy) (working) (unborn)
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143 (Chinese) (short) ((adjective)) (poor) (rich)
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144 (funny-looking) (Puerto Rican) (Mexican)
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145 (Italian) (communist) (fascist) (Iranian)
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146 (Moonie)))
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147
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148 (defvar group-adj-loop (nconc group-adj group-adj))
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149
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150 (defvar statement
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151 '((your (thing) is great) ((thing) s are fun)
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152 ((person) is a (der-term))
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153 ((group-adj) people are (adjective))
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154 (every (group-adj) person is a (der-term))
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155 (most (group-adj) people have (thing) s)
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156 (all (group-adj) dudes should get (thing) s)
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157 ((person) is (group-adj)) (trees are (adjective))
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158 (if you\'ve seen one (thing) \, you\'ve seen them all)
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159 (you\'re (group-adj)) (you have a (thing))
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160 (my (thing) is pretty good)
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161 (the Martians are coming)
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162 (the (paper) is always right)
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163 (just because you read it in the (paper) that doesn\'t mean it\'s true)
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164 ((person) was (group-adj))
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165 ((person) \'s ghost is living in your (thing))
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166 (you look like a (thing))
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167 (the oceans are full of dirty fish)
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168 (people are dying every day)
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169 (a (group-adj) man ain\'t got nothing in the world these days)
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170 (women are inherently superior to men)
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171 (the system staff is fascist)
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172 (there is life after death)
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173 (the world is full of (der-term) s)
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174 (you remind me of (person)) (technology is evil)
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175 ((person) killed (person))
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176 (the Russians are tapping your phone)
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177 (the Earth is flat)
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178 (it\'s OK to run down (group-adj) people)
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179 (Multics is a really (adjective) operating system)
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180 (the CIA killed (person))
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181 (the sexual revolution is over)
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182 (Lassie was (group-adj))
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183 (the (group-adj) people have really got it all together)
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184 (I was (person) in a previous life)
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185 (breathing causes cancer)
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186 (it\'s fun to be really (adjective))
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187 ((quality) is pretty fun) (you\'re a (der-term))
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188 (the (group-adj) culture is fascinating)
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189 (when ya gotta go ya gotta go)
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190 ((person) is (adjective))
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191 ((person) \'s (quality) is (adjective))
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192 (it\'s a wonderful day)
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193 (everything is really a (thing))
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194 (there\'s a (thing) in (person) \'s brain)
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195 ((person) is a cool dude)
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196 ((person) is just a figment of your imagination)
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197 (the more (thing) s you have, the better)
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198 (life is a (thing)) (life is (quality))
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199 ((person) is (adjective))
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200 ((group-adj) people are all (adjective) (der-term) s)
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201 ((statement) \, and (statement))
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202 ((statement) \, but (statement))
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203 (I wish I had a (thing))
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204 (you should have a (thing))
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205 (you hope that (statement))
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206 ((person) is secretly (group-adj))
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207 (you wish you were (group-adj))
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208 (you wish you were a (thing))
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209 (I wish I were a (thing))
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210 (you think that (statement))
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211 ((statement) \, because (statement))
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212 ((group-adj) people don\'t get married to (group-adj) people because (reason))
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213 ((group-adj) people are all (adjective) because (reason))
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214 ((group-adj) people are (adjective) \, and (reason))
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215 (you must be a (adjective) (der-term) to think that (person) said (statement))
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216 ((group-adj) people are inherently superior to (group-adj) people)
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217 (God is Dead)))
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218
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219 (defvar statement-loop (nconc statement statement))
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220
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221
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222 (defvar paper
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223 '((Daily Mail) (Daily Express)
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224 (Centre Bulletin) (Sun) (Daily Mirror) (Pravda)
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225 (Daily Telegraph) (Beano) (Multics Manual)))
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226
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227 (defvar paper-loop (nconc paper paper))
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228
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229
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230 (defvar person
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231 '((Reagan) (Ken Thompson) (Dennis Ritchie)
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232 (JFK) (the Pope) (Gadaffi) (Napoleon)
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233 (Karl Marx) (Groucho) (Michael Jackson)
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234 (Caesar) (Nietzsche) (Heidegger) (\"Head-for-the-mountains\" Bush)
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235 (Henry Kissinger) (Nixon) (Castro) (Thatcher)
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236 (Attilla the Hun) (Alaric the Visigoth) (Hitler)))
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237
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238 (defvar person-loop (nconc person person))
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239
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240 (defvar reason
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241 '((they don\'t want their children to grow up to be too lazy to steal)
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242 (they can\'t tell them apart from (group-adj) dudes)
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243 (they\'re too (adjective))
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244 ((person) wouldn\'t have done it)
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245 (they can\'t spray paint that small)
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246 (they don\'t have (thing) s) (they don\'t know how)
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247 (they can\'t afford (thing) s)))
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248
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249 (defvar reason-loop (nconc reason reason))
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250
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251 (defmacro define-element (name)
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252 (let ((loop-to-use (intern (concat name "-loop"))))
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253 (` (defun (, (intern name)) nil
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254 (let ((step-forward (random 10)))
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255 (if (< step-forward 0) (setq step-forward (- step-forward)))
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256 (prog1
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257 (nth step-forward (, loop-to-use))
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258 (setq (, loop-to-use) (nthcdr (1+ step-forward) (, loop-to-use)))))))))
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259
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260 (define-element "sentence")
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261 (define-element "quality")
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262 (define-element "adjective")
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263 (define-element "der-term")
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264 (define-element "group-adj")
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265 (define-element "statement")
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266 (define-element "thing")
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267 (define-element "paper")
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268 (define-element "person")
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269 (define-element "reason")
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270
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271 (defun *flame nil
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272 (flame-expand '(sentence)))
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273
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274 (defun flame-expand (object)
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275 (cond ((atom object)
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276 object)
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277 (t (mapcar 'flame-expand (funcall (car object))))))
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278
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279 (defun flatten (list)
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280 (cond ((atom list)
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281 (list list))
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282 (t (apply 'append (mapcar 'flatten list)))))
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283
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284 ;;;###autoload
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285 (defun flame (arg)
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286 "Generate ARG (default 1) sentences of half-crazed gibberish."
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287 (interactive "p")
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288 (let ((w (selected-window)))
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289 (pop-to-buffer (get-buffer-create "*Flame*"))
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290 (goto-char (point-max))
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291 (insert ?\n)
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292 (flame2 arg)
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293 (select-window w)))
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294
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295 (defun flame2 (arg)
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296 (let ((start (point)))
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297 (flame1 arg)
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298 (fill-region-as-paragraph start (point) t)))
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299
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300 (defun flame1 (arg)
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301 (cond ((zerop arg) t)
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302 (t (insert (concat (sentence-ify (string-ify (append-suffixes-hack (flatten (*flame)))))))
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303 (flame1 (1- arg)))))
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304
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305 (defun sentence-ify (string)
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306 (concat (upcase (substring string 0 1))
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307 (substring string 1 (length string))
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308 " "))
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309
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310 (defun string-ify (list)
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311 (mapconcat
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312 'symbol-name
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313 ; '(lambda (x)
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314 ; (format "%s" x))
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315 list
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316 " "))
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317
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318 (defun append-suffixes-hack (list)
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319 (cond ((null list)
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320 nil)
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321 ((memq (nth 1 list)
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322 '(\? \. \, s\! \! s \'s \-loving))
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323 (cons (intern (concat (symbol-name (nth 0 list))
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324 (symbol-name (nth 1 list))))
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325 ;;(intern (format "%s%s" (nth 0 list) (nth 1 list)))
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326 (append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 2 list))))
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327 (t (cons (nth 0 list)
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328 (append-suffixes-hack (nthcdr 1 list))))))
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329
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330 (defun psychoanalyze-flamer ()
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331 "Mr. Angry goes to the analyst."
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332 (interactive)
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333 (doctor) ; start the psychotherapy
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334 (message "")
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335 (switch-to-buffer "*doctor*")
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336 (sit-for 0)
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337 (while (not (input-pending-p))
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338 (flame2 (if (= (random 2) 0) 2 1))
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339 (sit-for 0)
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340 (doctor-ret-or-read 1)))
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72
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341
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342 ;;; flame.el ends here
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