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author Henry S. Thompson <ht@inf.ed.ac.uk>
date Wed, 06 Mar 2019 20:03:35 +0000
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75 </style><title>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</title></head><body style="font-family: DejaVu Sans, Arial; background: rgb(254,250,246)"><div style="text-align: center" class="head"><h1>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</h1><hr/><div class="byline">Philip Corrie-Hawes</div><div class="byline">Laura Pearson</div><div class="byline">Henry S. Thompson</div><div class="byline">24 Feb 2019</div><div class="copyright">Copyright &#169; 2019 <a href="http://www.ltg.ed.ac.uk/~ht/">Henry S. Thompson</a>&#160;<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en">CC-BY-SA</a></div></div><div class="body"><div><h2>1. Introduction</h2><p>At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met
76 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for membership. After a
77 pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband [name here please, sorry for bad
78 memory!], we settled in to worship, during which some excerpts from QF&amp;P
79 11.1 were read. Philip then shared with us his background and the ways in
80 which his involvement
81 with Friends had developed.</p></div><div><h2>2. Philip's journey towards membership </h2><p>Philip went to to CofE schools, but let go of any
82 idea of religion on leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an
83 atheist, while recognising that that was a belief
84 in itself. He know sees that ever since then there's been a patter of moving towards faith, stepping back, looking
85 for faith, something that was missing, not finding it, trying again. Looking for a way to make
86 a contribution to peoples lives, a key
87 step came when he took a job as support worker in a mental
88 health setting, after years in financial services. But after 3 years or so he
89 burned out, and realised that he had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an
90 individual, and that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP). Digging deeper, looking back at
91 how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask,
92 enabled Philip to look more deeply at his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent
93 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to
94 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past
95 without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a
96 citizen advocate.</p><p>But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and
97 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the environment h
98 grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't take Christian doctrine
99 or the Bible
100 literally. The Bible has stories about how to live, without being
101 historically true. He began looking for a religious context that was consistent with
102 that, <i>and</i> that wouldn't find his sexuality a problem. He
103 experimented with local churches, read about them extensively online,
104 then contacted someone online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say
105 to me?" First-time response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some
106 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early
107 on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of
108 attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK
109 with his husband. He was supportive, and Philip got a positive response to an email to
110 Laurie Naumann. </p><p>So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. On the day it
111 was good, supportive, "I felt quite held". There was no quaking, but an
112 atmosphere he could tap in to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce
113 himself, which he wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do
114 so. Drove home smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That
115 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He feels that he's now reached the foundation of
116 where he needs to be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring
117 further from
118 what is now his spiritual home.</p><div><h4>2.1. Where Philip is now</h4><p>He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central
119 Fife LM treasurer, he goes to
120 Area Meeting when he can, he's organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline.
121 Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He
122 does still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it, but he's
123 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels fortunate that
124 Britain Yearly Meeting
125 is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition. Sitting in silence
126 <i>and</i> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of
127 what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes him who he is.</p><p>He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about
128 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the local
129 Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was not for him. He
130 is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him for who he is. All views
131 are heard. He doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry comes, it
132 will be given to him.</p><p>For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge.
133 It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part of his
134 life is in making a deeper commitment. And, that he has something to offer,
135 as he's already begun to do.</p><p>He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we have to offer more
136 effectively. You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so
137 refreshing. He's loving that he's found a community he can be a
138 part of and where he can feel safe. What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on
139 business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p><p>He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he looked at,
140 whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration
141 that you believe certain things.</p></div><p>When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that we
142 didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the spirit leads. Not
143 "this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a
144 particular path at this time. We all take responsibility.</p><p>The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of
145 journey from a base that he had expressed, and grateful that they had shared it
146 with him. We closed with a comfortable silence, in no doubt that Philips
147 membership in our Society was already a reality, now ready for recognition by
148 Area Meeting.</p></div></div></body></html>