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overtaken by default version?
author Henry S Thompson <ht@inf.ed.ac.uk>
date Wed, 18 Sep 2024 15:16:26 +0100
parents fad00ec1fcce
children
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74 .note {width: 20%; float: right; clear: right; margin-left: .5em}
159
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75 </style><title>
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76 Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes
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77 </title></head><body style="font-family: DejaVu Sans, Arial; background: rgb(254,250,246)">
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78 <div style="text-align: center" class="head">
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79 <h1>
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80 Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes
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81 </h1><hr/>
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82 <div class="byline">
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83 Philip Corrie-Hawes
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84 </div>
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85 <div class="byline">
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86 Laura Pearson
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87 </div>
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88 <div class="byline">
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89 Henry S. Thompson
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90 </div>
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91 <div class="byline">
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92 24 February 2019
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93 </div>
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94 <div class="copyright">Copyright &#xa9; 2019 <a href="http://www.ltg.ed.ac.uk/~ht/">Henry S. Thompson</a>&#160;<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en">CC-BY-SA</a></div></div>
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95 <div class="body">
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96 <div>
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97 <h2>1.
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98 Introduction
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99 </h2>
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100 <p>
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101
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102 At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met
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103 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for
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104 membership. After a pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband Mark
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105 and some cuddles from their dog Fudge, we settled in to worship, during
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106 which some excerpts from QF&amp;P 11.1 were read. Philip then shared
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107 with us his background and the ways in which his involvement with
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108 Friends had developed.
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109
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110 </p>
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111 </div>
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112 <div>
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113 <h2>2.
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114
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115 Philip's journey towards membership
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116
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117 </h2>
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118 <p>
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119
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120 Finding the Religious Society of Friends was the result of a process
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121 of seeking which Philip entered feeling that something was missing
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122 from his life.
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123
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124 Philip went to CofE schools, but let go of any idea of religion on
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125 leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an atheist, while
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126 recognising that that was a belief in itself. He now sees that ever
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127 since then there's been a pattern of moving towards faith, stepping
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128 back, looking for faith, or that something that was missing, not
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129 finding it and trying again. In looking for a way to make a
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130 contribution to peoples lives, a key step came when he took a job as
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131 support worker in a mental health setting, after years in financial
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132 services. But after 3 years or so he burned out, and realised that he
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133 had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him
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134 understand that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP) and with
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135 that he began a process of digging deeper to find himself. Through
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136 this project of self-exploration, he considered how hiding his
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137 sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask and not being his true
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138 self. This process enabled
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139 Philip to look more deeply at universal
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140 human needs and his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent
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141 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. An understanding of HSP and using
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142 NVC techniques have helped Philip understand his yearning for belonging, meaning and a place to contribute and
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143 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the
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144 past without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan,
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145 and time as a citizen advocate.
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146
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147 </p>
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148 <p>
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149
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150 But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and
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151 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the
160
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152 environment he grew up in he was culturally Christian. In his view,
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153 The Bible isn't necessarily historically accurate, but it does contain
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154 stories about how to live. He began looking for a religious context
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155 that was consistent with that, while having at the back of his mind
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156 that even if he did seek fellowship he wouldn't be welcomed due to his
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157 sexuality. He experimented with local churches, firstly by reading
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158 about them extensively online, then contacting them through email, in
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159 particular asking for their opinion on gay marriage. First-time
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160 response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some
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161 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at
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162 Quakers quite early on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and
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163 meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of attending a
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164 Meeting for Worship, as Philip felt he needed to be hopeful it was
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165 going to work, and also that it would be OK with his husband. Mark was
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166 unconditionally supportive of Philip's search, and on sending an
159
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167 enquiring email, Philip received a positive response from Laurie
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168 Naumann.
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169
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170 So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. Philip
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171 describes this as a "phenomenal experience". He found he understood
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172 the structure and felt the silence utterly fulfilling. He explains
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173 that he "felt quite
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174 held". There was no quaking, but an atmosphere he could tap in
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175 to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce himself, which he wasn't
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176 expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do so. Philip reflected that he drove home
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177 smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That
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178 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He
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179 feels that he's now reached the foundation of where he needs to
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180 be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring further from
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181 what is now his spiritual home.
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182
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183 </p>
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184 <div>
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185 <h4>2.1.
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186
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187 Where Philip is now
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188
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189 </h4>
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190 <p>
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191
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192 He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central
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193 Fife Local Meeting treasurer, he goes to Area Meeting when he can and he's
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194 organising the new monthly Meeting for Worship in Dunfermline. Being in the meeting
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195 has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He describes
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196 Quakerism as an anchor to come back to when he gets worried or things
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197 get too much "a way to reflect and re-energise". He does still
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198 struggle to define simply what it is that he gets from it, but he's
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199 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels
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200 fortunate that Britain Yearly Meeting is part of the 'liberal' Quaker
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201 tradition. Sitting in silence <i>and</i> going regularly to the
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202 discussion groups are both part of what has become a very big piece of
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203 the jigsaw which makes him who he is.
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204
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205 </p>
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206 <p>
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207
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208 He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about
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209 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the
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210 local Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was
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211 not for him. He is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him
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212 for who he is, and where all views are heard without judgement. He
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213 doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry
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214 comes, it will be given to him.
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215
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216 </p>
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217 <p>
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218
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219 For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge. It
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220 is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part
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221 of his life is in making a deeper commitment. And a way of saying that
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222 he has something to willingly and lovingly offer to a community, as
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223 he's already begun to do.
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224
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225 </p>
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226 <p>
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227
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228 He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we
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229 have to offer more effectively. He's loving that he's found a
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230 community he can be a part of and where he can feel safe and where you
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231 don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so refreshing. He
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232 recognises that we can blunder and we're fallible but the intention is
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233 always to connect, however you describe it. What binds us together is
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234 the style of worship, the way we agree on business, viewing what
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235 people say without blame or criticism.
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236
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237 </p>
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238 <p>
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239
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240 He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he
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241 looked at, whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without
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242 signing a declaration that you believe certain things.
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243
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244 </p>
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245 </div>
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246 <p>
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247
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248 When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that
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249 we didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the
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250 spirit leads. Not "this is right, this is wrong", but being
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251 in the moment, being led to take a particular path at this time and
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252 where we all take responsibility.
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253
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254 </p>
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255 <p>
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256
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257 The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of a
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258 journey from a base that he had expressed. They were grateful that
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259 they had been able to share it with him. We closed with a comfortable
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260 silence, in no doubt that Philip's membership in our Society was
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261 already a reality, now ready for recognition by Area Meeting.
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262
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263 </p>
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264 </div>
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265 </div>
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266 </body></html>