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working on 7.1
author Henry Thompson <ht@markup.co.uk>
date Wed, 14 Jun 2023 19:41:16 +0100
parents fad00ec1fcce
children
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1 <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?>
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2 <doc>
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3 <head>
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4 <title>
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5 Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes
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6 </title>
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7 <author>
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8 Philip Corrie-Hawes
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9 </author>
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10 <author>
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11 Laura Pearson
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12 </author>
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13 <author>
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14 Henry S. Thompson
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15 </author>
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16 <date>
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17 24 February 2019
157
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18 </date>
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19 </head>
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20 <body>
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21 <div>
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22 <title>
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23 Introduction
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24 </title>
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25 <p>
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26
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27 At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met
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28 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for
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29 membership. After a pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband Mark
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30 and some cuddles from their dog Fudge, we settled in to worship, during
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31 which some excerpts from QF&amp;P 11.1 were read. Philip then shared
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32 with us his background and the ways in which his involvement with
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33 Friends had developed.
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34
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35 </p>
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36 </div>
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37 <div>
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38 <title>
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39
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40 Philip's journey towards membership
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41
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42 </title>
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43 <p>
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44
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45 Finding the Religious Society of Friends was the result of a process
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46 of seeking which Philip entered feeling that something was missing
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47 from his life.
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48
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49 Philip went to CofE schools, but let go of any idea of religion on
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50 leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an atheist, while
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51 recognising that that was a belief in itself. He now sees that ever
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52 since then there's been a pattern of moving towards faith, stepping
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53 back, looking for faith, or that something that was missing, not
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54 finding it and trying again. In looking for a way to make a
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55 contribution to peoples lives, a key step came when he took a job as
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56 support worker in a mental health setting, after years in financial
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57 services. But after 3 years or so he burned out, and realised that he
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58 had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him
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59 understand that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP) and with
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60 that he began a process of digging deeper to find himself. Through
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61 this project of self-exploration, he considered how hiding his
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62 sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask and not being his true
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63 self. This process enabled
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64 Philip to look more deeply at universal
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65 human needs and his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent
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66 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. An understanding of HSP and using
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67 NVC techniques have helped Philip understand his yearning for belonging, meaning and a place to contribute and
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68 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the
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69 past without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan,
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70 and time as a citizen advocate.
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71
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72 </p>
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73 <p>
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74
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75 But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and
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76 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the
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77 environment he grew up in he was culturally Christian. In his view,
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78 The Bible isn't necessarily historically accurate, but it does contain
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79 stories about how to live. He began looking for a religious context
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80 that was consistent with that, while having at the back of his mind
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81 that even if he did seek fellowship he wouldn't be welcomed due to his
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82 sexuality. He experimented with local churches, firstly by reading
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83 about them extensively online, then contacting them through email, in
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84 particular asking for their opinion on gay marriage. First-time
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85 response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some
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86 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at
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87 Quakers quite early on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and
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88 meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of attending a
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89 Meeting for Worship, as Philip felt he needed to be hopeful it was
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90 going to work, and also that it would be OK with his husband. Mark was
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91 unconditionally supportive of Philip's search, and on sending an
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92 enquiring email, Philip received a positive response from Laurie
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93 Naumann.
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94
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95 So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. Philip
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96 describes this as a "phenomenal experience". He found he understood
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97 the structure and felt the silence utterly fulfilling. He explains
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98 that he &quot;felt quite
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99 held&quot;. There was no quaking, but an atmosphere he could tap in
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100 to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce himself, which he wasn't
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101 expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do so. Philip reflected that he drove home
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102 smiling: &quot;I've found something I want to go back to&quot;. That
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103 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He
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104 feels that he's now reached the foundation of where he needs to
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105 be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring further from
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106 what is now his spiritual home.
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107
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108 </p>
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109 <div>
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110 <title>
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111
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112 Where Philip is now
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113
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114 </title>
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115 <p>
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116
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117 He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central
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118 Fife Local Meeting treasurer, he goes to Area Meeting when he can and he's
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119 organising the new monthly Meeting for Worship in Dunfermline. Being in the meeting
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120 has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He describes
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121 Quakerism as an anchor to come back to when he gets worried or things
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122 get too much "a way to reflect and re-energise". He does still
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123 struggle to define simply what it is that he gets from it, but he's
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124 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels
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125 fortunate that Britain Yearly Meeting is part of the 'liberal' Quaker
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126 tradition. Sitting in silence <emph>and</emph> going regularly to the
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127 discussion groups are both part of what has become a very big piece of
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128 the jigsaw which makes him who he is.
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129
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130 </p>
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131 <p>
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133 He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about
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134 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the
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135 local Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was
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136 not for him. He is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him
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137 for who he is, and where all views are heard without judgement. He
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138 doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry
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139 comes, it will be given to him.
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140
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141 </p>
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142 <p>
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143
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144 For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge. It
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145 is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part
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146 of his life is in making a deeper commitment. And a way of saying that
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147 he has something to willingly and lovingly offer to a community, as
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148 he's already begun to do.
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149
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150 </p>
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151 <p>
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152
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153 He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we
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154 have to offer more effectively. He's loving that he's found a
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155 community he can be a part of and where he can feel safe and where you
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156 don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so refreshing. He
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157 recognises that we can blunder and we're fallible but the intention is
157
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158 always to connect, however you describe it. What binds us together is
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159 the style of worship, the way we agree on business, viewing what
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160 people say without blame or criticism.
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161
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162 </p>
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163 <p>
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164
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165 He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he
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166 looked at, whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without
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167 signing a declaration that you believe certain things.
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168
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169 </p>
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170 </div>
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171 <p>
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172
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173 When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that
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174 we didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the
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175 spirit leads. Not &quot;this is right, this is wrong&quot;, but being
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176 in the moment, being led to take a particular path at this time and
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177 where we all take responsibility.
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178
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179 </p>
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180 <p>
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181
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182 The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of a
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183 journey from a base that he had expressed. They were grateful that
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184 they had been able to share it with him. We closed with a comfortable
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185 silence, in no doubt that Philip's membership in our Society was
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186 already a reality, now ready for recognition by Area Meeting.
157
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187
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188 </p>
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189 </div>
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190 </body>
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191 </doc>