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annotate philip_20190224.xml @ 156:2fac7d990278
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| author | Henry Thompson <ht@markup.co.uk> |
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| date | Fri, 15 Mar 2019 17:31:59 +0000 |
| parents | d520f6a8ff47 2798cedf81ee |
| children | 77c17553b938 |
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| 148 | 1 <?xml version='1.0'?> |
| 2 <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?> | |
| 3 <!DOCTYPE doc SYSTEM "../../lib/xml/doc.dtd" > | |
| 4 <doc> | |
| 5 <head> | |
| 149 | 6 <title>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</title> |
| 7 <author>Philip Corrie-Hawes</author> | |
| 8 <author>Laura Pearson</author> | |
| 148 | 9 <author>Henry S. Thompson</author> |
| 10 <date>24 Feb 2019</date> | |
| 11 </head> | |
| 12 <body> | |
| 13 <div> | |
| 149 | 14 <title>Introduction</title> |
| 15 <p>At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met | |
| 16 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for membership. After a | |
| 17 pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband [name here please, sorry for bad | |
| 18 memory!], we settled in to worship, during which some excerpts from QF&P | |
| 19 11.1 were read. Philip then shared with us his background and the ways in | |
| 20 which his involvement | |
| 21 with Friends had developed.</p> | |
| 148 | 22 </div> |
| 23 <div> | |
| 24 <title>Philip's journey towards membership </title> | |
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25 <p>Philip went to to CofE schools, but let go of any |
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26 idea of religion on leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an |
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27 atheist, while recognising that that was a belief |
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28 in itself. He know sees that ever since then there's been a patter of moving towards faith, stepping back, looking |
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29 for faith, something that was missing, not finding it, trying again. Looking for a way to make |
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30 a contribution to peoples lives, a key |
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31 step came when he took a job as support worker in a mental |
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32 health setting, after years in financial services. But after 3 years or so he |
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33 burned out, and realised that he had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an |
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34 individual, and that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP). Digging deeper, looking back at |
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35 how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask, |
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36 enabled Philip to look more deeply at his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent |
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37 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to |
| 148 | 38 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past |
| 39 without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a | |
| 40 citizen advocate.</p> | |
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41 <p>But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and |
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42 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the environment h |
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43 grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't take Christian doctrine |
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44 or the Bible |
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45 literally. The Bible has stories about how to live, without being |
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46 historically true. He began looking for a religious context that was consistent with |
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47 that, <emph>and</emph> that wouldn't find his sexuality a problem. He |
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48 experimented with local churches, read about them extensively online, |
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49 then contacted someone online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say |
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50 to me?" First-time response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some |
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51 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early |
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52 on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of |
| 148 | 53 attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK |
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54 with his husband. He was supportive, and Philip got a positive response to an email to |
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55 Laurie Naumann. </p> |
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56 <p>So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. On the day it |
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57 was good, supportive, "I felt quite held". There was no quaking, but an |
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58 atmosphere he could tap in to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce |
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59 himself, which he wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do |
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60 so. Drove home smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That |
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61 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He feels that he's now reached the foundation of |
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62 where he needs to be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring |
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63 further from |
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64 what is now his spiritual home.</p> |
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65 <div> |
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66 <title>Where Philip is now</title> |
| 151 | 67 <p>He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central |
| 68 Fife LM treasurer, he goes to | |
| 69 Area Meeting when he can, he's organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline. | |
| 70 Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He | |
| 71 does still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it, but he's | |
| 72 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels fortunate that | |
| 73 Britain Yearly Meeting | |
| 148 | 74 is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition. Sitting in silence |
| 75 <emph>and</emph> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of | |
| 151 | 76 what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes him who he is.</p> |
| 77 <p>He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about | |
| 78 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the local | |
| 79 Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was not for him. He | |
| 80 is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him for who he is. All views | |
| 81 are heard. He doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry comes, it | |
| 82 will be given to him.</p> | |
| 83 <p>For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge. | |
| 84 It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part of his | |
| 85 life is in making a deeper commitment. And, that he has something to offer, | |
| 86 as he's already begun to do.</p> | |
| 87 <p>He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we have to offer more | |
| 148 | 88 effectively. You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so |
| 151 | 89 refreshing. He's loving that he's found a community he can be a |
| 90 part of and where he can feel safe. What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on | |
| 148 | 91 business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p> |
| 151 | 92 <p>He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he looked at, |
| 148 | 93 whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration |
| 94 that you believe certain things.</p> | |
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95 </div> |
| 151 | 96 <p>When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that we |
| 97 didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the spirit leads. Not | |
| 148 | 98 "this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a |
| 99 particular path at this time. We all take responsibility.</p> | |
| 151 | 100 <p>The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of |
| 101 journey from a base that he had expressed, and grateful that they had shared it | |
| 102 with him. We closed with a comfortable silence, in no doubt that Philips | |
| 103 membership in our Society was already a reality, now ready for recognition by | |
| 104 Area Meeting.</p> | |
| 148 | 105 </div> |
| 106 </body> | |
| 107 </doc> |