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75 </style><title>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</title></head><body style="font-family: DejaVu Sans, Arial; background: rgb(254,250,246)"><div style="text-align: center" class="head"><h1>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</h1><hr/><div class="byline">Philip Corrie-Hawes</div><div class="byline">Laura Pearson</div><div class="byline">Henry S. Thompson</div><div class="byline">24 Feb 2019</div><div class="copyright">Copyright © 2019 <a href="http://www.ltg.ed.ac.uk/~ht/">Henry S. Thompson</a> <a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en">CC-BY-SA</a></div></div><div class="body"><div><h2>1. Introduction</h2><p>At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met
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76 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for membership. After a
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77 pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband [name here please, sorry for bad
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78 memory!], we settled in to worship, during which some excerpts from QF&P
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79 11.1 were read. Philip then shared with us his background and the ways in
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80 which his involvement
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81 with Friends had developed.</p></div><div><h2>2. Philip's journey towards membership </h2><p>Philip went to to CofE schools, but let go of any
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82 idea of religion on leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an
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83 atheist, while recognising that that was a belief
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84 in itself. He know sees that ever since then there's been a patter of moving towards faith, stepping back, looking
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85 for faith, something that was missing, not finding it, trying again. Looking for a way to make
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86 a contribution to peoples lives, a key
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87 step came when he took a job as support worker in a mental
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88 health setting, after years in financial services. But after 3 years or so he
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89 burned out, and realised that he had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an
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90 individual, and that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP). Digging deeper, looking back at
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91 how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask,
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92 enabled Philip to look more deeply at his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent
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93 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to
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94 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past
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95 without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a
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96 citizen advocate.</p><p>But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and
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97 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the environment h
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98 grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't take Christian doctrine
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99 or the Bible
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100 literally. The Bible has stories about how to live, without being
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101 historically true. He began looking for a religious context that was consistent with
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102 that, <i>and</i> that wouldn't find his sexuality a problem. He
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103 experimented with local churches, read about them extensively online,
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104 then contacted someone online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say
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105 to me?" First-time response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some
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106 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early
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107 on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of
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108 attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK
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109 with his husband. He was supportive, and Philip got a positive response to an email to
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110 Laurie Naumann. </p><p>So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. On the day it
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111 was good, supportive, "I felt quite held". There was no quaking, but an
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112 atmosphere he could tap in to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce
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113 himself, which he wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do
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114 so. Drove home smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That
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115 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He feels that he's now reached the foundation of
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116 where he needs to be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring
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117 further from
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118 what is now his spiritual home.</p><div><h4>2.1. Where Philip is now</h4><p>He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central
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119 Fife LM treasurer, he goes to
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120 Area Meeting when he can, he's organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline.
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121 Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He
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122 does still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it, but he's
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123 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels fortunate that
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124 Britain Yearly Meeting
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125 is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition. Sitting in silence
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126 <i>and</i> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of
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127 what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes him who he is.</p><p>He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about
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128 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the local
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129 Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was not for him. He
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130 is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him for who he is. All views
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131 are heard. He doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry comes, it
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132 will be given to him.</p><p>For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge.
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133 It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part of his
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134 life is in making a deeper commitment. And, that he has something to offer,
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135 as he's already begun to do.</p><p>He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we have to offer more
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136 effectively. You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so
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137 refreshing. He's loving that he's found a community he can be a
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138 part of and where he can feel safe. What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on
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139 business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p><p>He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he looked at,
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140 whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration
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141 that you believe certain things.</p></div><p>When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that we
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142 didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the spirit leads. Not
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143 "this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a
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144 particular path at this time. We all take responsibility.</p><p>The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of
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145 journey from a base that he had expressed, and grateful that they had shared it
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146 with him. We closed with a comfortable silence, in no doubt that Philips
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147 membership in our Society was already a reality, now ready for recognition by
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148 Area Meeting.</p></div></div></body></html> |
