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annotate philip_20190224.xml @ 150:aae103da2b45
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| author | Henry S. Thompson <ht@inf.ed.ac.uk> |
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| date | Tue, 05 Mar 2019 22:39:41 +0000 |
| parents | 2d22d73eba1a |
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| 148 | 1 <?xml version='1.0'?> |
| 2 <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?> | |
| 3 <!DOCTYPE doc SYSTEM "../../lib/xml/doc.dtd" > | |
| 4 <doc> | |
| 5 <head> | |
| 149 | 6 <title>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</title> |
| 7 <author>Philip Corrie-Hawes</author> | |
| 8 <author>Laura Pearson</author> | |
| 148 | 9 <author>Henry S. Thompson</author> |
| 10 <date>24 Feb 2019</date> | |
| 11 </head> | |
| 12 <body> | |
| 13 <div> | |
| 149 | 14 <title>Introduction</title> |
| 15 <p>At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met | |
| 16 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for membership. After a | |
| 17 pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband [name here please, sorry for bad | |
| 18 memory!], we settled in to worship, during which some excerpts from QF&P | |
| 19 11.1 were read. Philip then shared with us his background and the ways in | |
| 20 which his involvement | |
| 21 with Friends had developed.</p> | |
| 148 | 22 </div> |
| 23 <div> | |
| 24 <title>Philip's journey towards membership </title> | |
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25 <p>Philip went to to CofE schools, but let go of any |
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26 idea of religion on leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an |
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27 atheist, while recognising that that was a belief |
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28 in itself. He know sees that ever since then there's been a patter of moving towards faith, stepping back, looking |
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29 for faith, something that was missing, not finding it, trying again. Looking for a way to make |
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30 a contribution to peoples lives, a key |
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31 step came when he took a job as support worker in a mental |
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32 health setting, after years in financial services. But after 3 years or so he |
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33 burned out, and realised that he had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an |
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34 individual, and that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP). Digging deeper, looking back at |
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35 how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask, |
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36 enabled Philip to look more deeply at his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent |
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37 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to |
| 148 | 38 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past |
| 39 without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a | |
| 40 citizen advocate.</p> | |
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41 <p>But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and |
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42 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the environment h |
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43 grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't take Christian doctrine |
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44 or the Bible |
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45 literally. The Bible has stories about how to live, without being |
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46 historically true. He began looking for a religious context that was consistent with |
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47 that, <emph>and</emph> that wouldn't find his sexuality a problem. He |
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48 experimented with local churches, read about them extensively online, |
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49 then contacted someone online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say |
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50 to me?" First-time response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some |
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51 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early |
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52 on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of |
| 148 | 53 attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK |
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54 with his husband. He was supportive, and Philip got a positive response to an email to |
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55 Laurie Naumann. </p> |
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56 <p>So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. On the day it |
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57 was good, supportive, "I felt quite held". There was no quaking, but an |
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58 atmosphere he could tap in to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce |
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59 himself, which he wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do |
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60 so. Drove home smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That |
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61 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He feels that he's now reached the foundation of |
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62 where he needs to be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring |
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63 further from |
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64 what is now his spiritual home.</p> |
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65 <div> |
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66 <title>Where Philip is now</title> |
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67 <p>Very engaged in a practical sense: I'm the LM treasurer, I've been to |
| 148 | 68 Area Meeting when I can, I'm organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline. |
| 69 Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps me well. I | |
| 70 do still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it. I'm | |
| 71 getting better at living with being unable to do that. I'm fortunate that ByM | |
| 72 is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition. Sitting in silence | |
| 73 <emph>and</emph> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of | |
| 74 what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes me who I am.</p> | |
| 75 <p>I needed to check one last time, it seemed, and went to the local | |
| 76 Episcopal service, and I had to leave halfway through: this was not for me. I | |
| 77 am home, with people who accept me for who I am. All views are heard. I | |
| 78 don't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry comes, it | |
| 79 will be given to me. Membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge. | |
| 80 It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering myself to this part of my | |
| 81 life is in making a deeper commitment. And, that I have something to offer, | |
| 82 as I've already begun to do.</p> | |
| 83 <p>I sometimes regret our inability to broadcast what we have to offer more | |
| 84 effectively. You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so | |
| 85 refreshing. I'm loving that I've find a community where I can feel safe and a | |
| 86 part of. What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on | |
| 87 business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p> | |
| 88 <p>I couldn't fit myself to the mode of all the other churches I looked at, | |
| 89 whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration | |
| 90 that you believe certain things.</p> | |
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91 </div> |
| 148 | 92 <p>HST: what about MfWfB? P: not consensus, not a vote, but where the spirit leads. Not |
| 93 "this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a | |
| 94 particular path at this time. We all take responsibility.</p> | |
| 95 <p>L: Touched about the sense of journey from a base that you've expressed.</p> | |
| 96 </div> | |
| 97 </body> | |
| 98 </doc> |