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1 <?xml version='1.0'?>
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2 <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?>
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3 <!DOCTYPE doc SYSTEM "../../lib/xml/doc.dtd" >
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4 <doc>
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5 <head>
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149
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6 <title>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</title>
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7 <author>Philip Corrie-Hawes</author>
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8 <author>Laura Pearson</author>
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148
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9 <author>Henry S. Thompson</author>
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10 <date>24 Feb 2019</date>
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11 </head>
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12 <body>
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13 <div>
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149
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14 <title>Introduction</title>
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15 <p>At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met
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16 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for membership. After a
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17 pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband [name here please, sorry for bad
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18 memory!], we settled in to worship, during which some excerpts from QF&P
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19 11.1 were read. Philip then shared with us his background and the ways in
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20 which his involvement
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21 with Friends had developed.</p>
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148
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22 </div>
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23 <div>
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24 <title>Philip's journey towards membership </title>
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25 <p>considered staunchly that he was an atheist, recognising that's a belief
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26 in itself. Since then a journey, moving towards faith, stepping back, looking
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27 for faith, something that was missing. Job as support worker in a mental
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28 health setting, after years in financial services. Looking for a way to make
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29 a contribution to peoples lives, after 3 years or so burned out himself.
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30 Understood it at the time that he had taken on more than he could manage, that
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31 he wasn't suited for. Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an
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32 individual, and that he was highly sensitive (HSP). Digging deeper, looking back at
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33 how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask.
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34 Enabled to look more deeply at his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent
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35 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss. Check-ins every working
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36 day. HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to
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37 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past
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38 without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a
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39 citizen advocate.</p>
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40 <p>But there was still something missing. Began, privately and
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41 tentatively, to explore faith. Had gone to CofE schools, but let go of any
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42 idea of religion on leaving school. Culturally Christian, but doesn't take it
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43 literally. The bible has stories about how to live, without being
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44 historically true. Looking for a religious context that was consistent with
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45 that, <emph>and</emph> wouldn't find his sexuality a problem. Always had
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46 difficulty making friends, finding a community, even getting to know
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47 neighbours. Experimented with local churches, read extensively online,
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48 contacted people online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say
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49 to me?" First-line response was always positive, but there was some
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50 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. Had looked at Quakers quite early
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51 on, Humanism, Buddhism, meditation. Took a long time to get to the point of
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52 attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK
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53 with my husband. He was supportive, I got a positive response to an email to
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54 Laurie Naumann, and on the day it was good, supportive, "I felt quite held".</p>
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55 <p>Not quaking, but an atmosphere I could tap in to. Welcomed, and asked to introduce
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56 myself, which I wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety I was able to do
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57 so. Drove home smiling: I've found something I want to go back to. I've
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58 been attending for two years, and feel that I've now reached the foundation of
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59 where I need to be. I'm not done, but I have the basis for exploring from
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60 what is now my spiritual home.</p>
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61 <p>Very engaged in a practical sense: I'm the LM treasurer, I've been to
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62 Area Meeting when I can, I'm organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline.
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63 Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps me well. I
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64 do still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it. I'm
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65 getting better at living with being unable to do that. I'm fortunate that ByM
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66 is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition. Sitting in silence
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67 <emph>and</emph> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of
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68 what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes me who I am.</p>
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69 <p>I needed to check one last time, it seemed, and went to the local
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70 Episcopal service, and I had to leave halfway through: this was not for me. I
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71 am home, with people who accept me for who I am. All views are heard. I
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72 don't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry comes, it
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73 will be given to me. Membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge.
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74 It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering myself to this part of my
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75 life is in making a deeper commitment. And, that I have something to offer,
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76 as I've already begun to do.</p>
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77 <p>I sometimes regret our inability to broadcast what we have to offer more
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78 effectively. You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so
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79 refreshing. I'm loving that I've find a community where I can feel safe and a
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80 part of. What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on
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81 business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p>
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82 <p>I couldn't fit myself to the mode of all the other churches I looked at,
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83 whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration
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84 that you believe certain things.</p>
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85 <p>HST: what about MfWfB? P: not consensus, not a vote, but where the spirit leads. Not
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86 "this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a
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87 particular path at this time. We all take responsibility.</p>
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88 <p>L: Touched about the sense of journey from a base that you've expressed.</p>
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89 </div>
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90 </body>
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91 </doc>
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