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revised per version from Laura
author Henry Thompson <ht@markup.co.uk>
date Fri, 15 Mar 2019 19:37:33 +0000
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73 .note {width: 20%; float: right; clear: right; margin-left: .5em}
159
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74 </style><title>
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75 Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes
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76 </title></head><body style="font-family: DejaVu Sans, Arial; background: rgb(254,250,246)">
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77 <div style="text-align: center" class="head">
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78 <h1>
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79 Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes
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80 </h1><hr/>
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81 <div class="byline">
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82 Philip Corrie-Hawes
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83 </div>
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84 <div class="byline">
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85 Laura Pearson
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86 </div>
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87 <div class="byline">
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88 Henry S. Thompson
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89 </div>
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90 <div class="byline">
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91 24 February 2019
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92 </div>
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93 <div class="copyright">Copyright &#xa9; 2019 <a href="http://www.ltg.ed.ac.uk/~ht/">Henry S. Thompson</a>&#160;<a href="http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en">CC-BY-SA</a></div></div>
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94 <div class="body">
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95 <div>
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96 <h2>1.
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97 Introduction
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98 </h2>
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99 <p>
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100
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101 At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met
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102 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for
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103 membership. After a pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband Mark
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104 and some cuddles from their dog Fudge, we settled in to worship, during
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105 which some excerpts from QF&amp;P 11.1 were read. Philip then shared
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106 with us his background and the ways in which his involvement with
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107 Friends had developed.
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108
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109 </p>
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110 </div>
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111 <div>
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112 <h2>2.
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113
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114 Philip's journey towards membership
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115
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116 </h2>
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117 <p>
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118
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119 Finding the Religious Society of Friends was the result of a process
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120 of seeking which Philip entered feeling that something was missing
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121 from his life.
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122
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123 Philip went to CofE schools, but let go of any idea of religion on
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124 leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an atheist, while
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125 recognising that that was a belief in itself. He now sees that ever
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126 since then there's been a pattern of moving towards faith, stepping
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127 back, looking for faith, or that something that was missing, not
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128 finding it and trying again. In looking for a way to make a
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129 contribution to peoples lives, a key step came when he took a job as
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130 support worker in a mental health setting, after years in financial
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131 services. But after 3 years or so he burned out, and realised that he
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132 had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him
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133 understand that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP) and with
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134 that he began a process of digging deeper to find himself. Through
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135 this project of self-exploration, he considered how hiding his
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136 sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask and not being his true
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137 self. This process enabled
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138 Philip to look more deeply at universal
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139 human needs and his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent
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140 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. An understanding of HSP and using
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141 NVC techniques have helped Philip understand his yearning for belonging, meaning and a place to contribute and
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142 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the
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143 past without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan,
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144 and time as a citizen advocate.
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145
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146 </p>
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147 <p>
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148
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149 But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and
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150 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the
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151 environment he grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't
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152 take Christian doctrine or the Bible literally. The Bible has stories
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153 about how to live, without being historically true. He began looking
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154 for a religious context that was consistent with that, while having at
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155 the back of his mind that even if he did seek fellowship he wouldn't
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156 be welcomed due to his sexuality. He experimented with local churches,
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157 firstly by reading about them extensively online, then contacting them
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158 through email, in particular asking for their opinion on gay
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159 marriage. First-time response was always positive, but beyond that
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160 there was usually some vagueness, along with some explicit
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161 negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early on, along with
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162 Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the
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163 point of attending a Meeting for Worship, as Philip felt he needed to be hopeful it
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164 was going to work, and also that it would be OK with his husband. Mark
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165 was unconditionally supportive of Philip's search, and on sending an
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166 enquiring email, Philip received a positive response from Laurie
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167 Naumann.
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168
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169 So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. Philip
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170 describes this as a "phenomenal experience". He found he understood
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171 the structure and felt the silence utterly fulfilling. He explains
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172 that he "felt quite
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173 held". There was no quaking, but an atmosphere he could tap in
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174 to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce himself, which he wasn't
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175 expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do so. Philip reflected that he drove home
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176 smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That
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177 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He
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178 feels that he's now reached the foundation of where he needs to
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179 be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring further from
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180 what is now his spiritual home.
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181
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182 </p>
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183 <div>
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184 <h4>2.1.
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185
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186 Where Philip is now
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187
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188 </h4>
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189 <p>
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190
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191 He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central
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192 Fife Local Meeting treasurer, he goes to Area Meeting when he can and he's
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193 organising the new monthly Meeting for Worship in Dunfermline. Being in the meeting
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194 has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He describes
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195 Quakerism as an anchor to come back to when he gets worried or things
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196 get too much "a way to reflect and re-energise". He does still
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197 struggle to define simply what it is that he gets from it, but he's
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198 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels
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199 fortunate that Britain Yearly Meeting is part of the 'liberal' Quaker
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200 tradition. Sitting in silence <i>and</i> going regularly to the
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201 discussion groups are both part of what has become a very big piece of
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202 the jigsaw which makes him who he is.
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203
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204 </p>
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205 <p>
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206
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207 He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about
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208 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the
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209 local Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was
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210 not for him. He is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him
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211 for who he is, and where all views are heard without judgement. He
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212 doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry
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213 comes, it will be given to him.
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214
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215 </p>
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216 <p>
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217
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218 For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge. It
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219 is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part
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220 of his life is in making a deeper commitment. And a way of saying that
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221 he has something to willingly and lovingly offer to a community, as
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222 he's already begun to do.
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223
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224 </p>
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225 <p>
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226
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227 He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we
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228 have to offer more effectively. He's loving that he's found a
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229 community he can be a part of and where he can feel safe and where you
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230 don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so refreshing. He
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231 recognises that we can blunder and we're fallible but the intention is
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232 always to connect, however you describe it. What binds us together is
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233 the style of worship, the way we agree on business, viewing what
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234 people say without blame or criticism.
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235
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236 </p>
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237 <p>
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238
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239 He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he
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240 looked at, whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without
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241 signing a declaration that you believe certain things.
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242
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243 </p>
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244 </div>
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245 <p>
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246
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247 When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that
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248 we didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the
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249 spirit leads. Not "this is right, this is wrong", but being
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250 in the moment, being led to take a particular path at this time and
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251 where we all take responsibility.
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252
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253 </p>
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254 <p>
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255
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256 The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of a
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257 journey from a base that he had expressed. They were grateful that
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258 they had been able to share it with him. We closed with a comfortable
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259 silence, in no doubt that Philip's membership in our Society was
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260 already a reality, now ready for recognition by Area Meeting.
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261
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262 </p>
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263 </div>
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264 </div>
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265 </body></html>