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−Introduction
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−
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−Thank you for downloading XEmacs.  We of the XEmacs development team
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−believe user satisfaction is our number one priority, and we hope that
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−you will be pleased with the power of our editor.  Please follow all
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−of the instructions in order to enjoy a quick and easy installation.
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−
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−
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−Getting Started
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−
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−In this guide, information which you will need to supply will be enclosed in
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−angle brackets, <like this>.  Commands which you will have to enter will be
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−indented,
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−
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−	like this.
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−
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−You will need to provide a loading directory, in which to load the
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−material from tape (/tmp/xemacs is recommended), and a permanent
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−installation directory (/usr/local/xemacs is recommended).
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−
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−
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−Loading From Tape
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−
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−First create and change directory to the loading directory:
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−
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−	mkdir <working directory>
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−	cd <working directory>
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−
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−Now you are ready to load the software from tape.
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−
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−The specific device name needed to load the tape varies with hardware vendors,
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−and may be found in Appendix A, "Vendors and Device Names".
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−
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−Load the software from tape:
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−
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−	tar xvf /dev/<device name>
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−
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−You have now loaded all of the software from tape, and are ready to compile and
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−install the XEmacs Text Editor.
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−
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−
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−Compiling and Installing the XEmacs Editor
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−
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−Compiling and installing the libraries is handled by a user-friendly shell
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−script.  You will need to provide some information to the script, such as your
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−organization name and registration number.  To run the script, type
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−
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−	/bin/sh xemacs/xemacs.install -d <installation directory>
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−
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−Follow the script's directions, and provide the information which it prompts
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−for.
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−
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−When the script prompts you for the directory in which the distribution files
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−are located, you will find that you are unable to provide it with any directory
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−which the script will deem satisfactory.  That is because it is necessary to
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−order the following additional parts which are necessary to continue with the
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−installation:
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−
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−	Part Number	Qty	Name				Price
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−
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−	GM-96-3026	1	Goat, male			 1000.00
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−	CB-13-2395	1	Candle, black			   50.00
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−	CG-63-6376	1	Chalk dust container		   10.00
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−	IB-89-3335	5	Incense sticks			    5.00
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−	DE-44-8846	1	Dagger, ebon, curved		  500.00
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−	AS-87-2319	1	Altar, silver			10000.00
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−
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−Wait until the additional parts arrive; you will be ready to continue the
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−installation the next Friday the 13th at midnight.
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−
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−
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−Ritual for Successfully Completing Installation
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−
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−Stand in front of the computer.  Pour out the chalk dust in an inscribed
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−pentagram around you; be sure that it is without breaks.  Set an incense stick
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−at each of the five corners, the altar in front of the computer, and the candle
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−in front of the altar.
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−
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−Light each of the incense sticks and the candles, chanting in a low voice:
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−
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−	Daemons and spirits of the netherworld
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−	Forces of all that is chaotic and mysterious
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−	Essence of Netscape and MicroSoft
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−
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−	I am coming here to appease you
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−	I offer you this goat
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−	That my software may work
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−
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−	I bind you here
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−	Do not make my system crash
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−	Let the software install as advertised
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−
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−Place the goat on the altar, and slaughter it with the dagger.
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−
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−	May this goat feed you
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−	Sate your lust for blood
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−	Into it may your mischief fly
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−	Not my computer
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−	Make the software work
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−	For this is the only way
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−
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−Then spit into the computer's ventilation slots.  This will complete different
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−circuits inside the computer, causing its motherboard and cards to function in
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−ways that the engineers never intended, thereby making your system compatible
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−with our libraries.
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−
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−Reboot your computer.  The installation is now complete.
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−
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−[This has undergone a minor rewrite for XEmacs.  It originally
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−appeared on rec.humor.funny courtesy of jonathan seth hayward
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−<jhayward@students.uiuc.edu>, and is included by permission of the
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−author].