--- a/etc/COOKIES	Mon Aug 13 09:13:58 2007 +0200
+++ b/etc/COOKIES	Mon Aug 13 09:15:11 2007 +0200
@@ -1,3 +1,4 @@
+Original annotation:
 [Someone sent this in from California, and we decided to extend
 our campaign against information hoarding to recipes as well
 as software.  (Recipes are the closest thing, not involving computers,
@@ -8,150 +9,86 @@
 Therefore, this recipe can be thought of as a compatible replacement.
 We have reports that the cookies it makes are pretty good.]
 
-Someone at PG&E called the Mrs. Fields Cookie office
-and requested the recipe for her cookies. They asked
-her for her charge card number, and she gave it to them
-thinking the cost would be $15 to $25.  It turned out
-to be $200!
+New annotation for XEmacs 19.15/20.1:
+[This file originally contained SPAM.  It has been updated for XEmacs. -sb]
 
-Therefore, this person is giving the recipe to anyone 
-and everyone she knows (and doesn't know) so that 
-someone can get use of her $200.  Anyway, just keep
-passing it on.
-
-Cream together:		2 cups butter
-			2 cups sugar
-			2 cups brown sugar
+From: jhayward@math.uiuc.edu (Jonathan Hayward)
+Subject: A delicacy of delicacies
+Date: 19 Feb 1997 16:30:02 -0800
 
-Add:			4 eggs
-			2 tsp. vanilla
+Okay, everyone...  a true story of justice in the good old U.S. of A.  Thought
+y'all might enjoy this; if nothing else, it shows internet justice, if it can
+be called that.
 
-Mis together in
-separate bowl:		4 cups flour 
-			5 cups oatmeal (put small
- amounts of oatmeal in blender until it turns to
- powder.  Measure out 5 cups of oatmeal and only
- "powderize" that, NOT 5 cups "powderized" oatmeal)
-
-			1 tsp salt
-			2 tsp baking powder
-			2 tsp baking soda
-
-Mix:			All of the above
+On a whim, I decided to visit Hormel's main plant, and, after a tour, we were
+allowed to taste samples of their various products.  And there was one...  I
+don't think that words can describe how it tasted.  It was a meat product, but
+to call it meat would not do it justice.  The memory of the taste brings tears
+to my eyes.
 
-Add:			24 oz. bag of chocolate chips and
-			1 finely grated 8 oz Hershey bar (plain)
-
-Add:			3 cups chopped nuts (any kind)
-
-Bake on greased cookie sheet (make golf ball sized balls) and
-bake about two inches apart.  Bake at 350 degrees for 8 - 10 
-minutes. DO NOT OVERBAKE.  Makes 112.
-
-From: ucdavis!lll-lcc!hplabs!parcvax!bane@ucbvax.berkeley.edu (John R. Bane)
-Subject: Re: free cookie foundation?
+I like to cook in my spare time, so I asked the tour guide if they could give
+me the recipe.  She frowned, and said, "I'm afraid not."  Well, I said, would
+you let me buy the recipe?  With a cute smile, she said, "Yes."  I asked how
+much, and she responded, "Two-fifty."  I said with approval, just add it to my
+tab.
 
-Hi! I "stole" your very expensive cookie recipe off the net. If you
-want to send me your SnailMail address, I'll be glad to send you a
-dollar (I would like to suggest this to the net, but I think there is
-some netiquette rule against asking for money - or is that only money
-for oneself?) to help defray the cost (it's not much, but if EVERYone
-who took the recipe sent you a dollar, it would help). 
-
-Here also is another cookie recipe which I'm very fond of. 
+Thirty days later, I received my VISA statement from Hormel and it was $285.00.
+I looked again and remembered I had only spent $9.95 for a couple of tins, and
+about $20.00 for an anti-nauseant.  As I glanced at the bottom of the
+statement, it said, "Recipe -- $250.00."  Boy, was I upset!  I called Hormel's
+Accounting Dept. and told them the waitress said it was "two-fifty," and I did
+not realize she meant $250.00 for a recipe.  I asked them to take back the
+recipe and reduce my bill and they said they were sorry, but because all the
+recipes were this expensive so not just everyone could duplicate any of our
+delicacies...  the bill would stand.
 
-Makes 6-8 dozen
-Bake at 375 degrees for ~10 min.
-
-Cream together: 
-
-1 cup shortening (I use Weight Watcher's Reduced Calorie Margarine!)
-1/4 cup peanut butter (I recommend the non-sugared kind)
-1/2 cup sugar
-1/2 cup brown sugar
-2 eggs
-1 teaspoon vanilla
-
-Add:
+I waited, thinking of how I could get even or even try and get any of my money
+back.  I just said, "Okay, you folks got my $250.00 and now I'm going to have
+$250.00 worth of fun."  I told her that I was going to see to it that every
+gourmet will have a $250.00 recipe from Hormel for nothing.  She replied, "I
+wish you wouldn't do this."  I said, "I'm sorry but this is the only way I feel
+I could get even," and I will.
 
-1/2 cup flour
-1 teaspoon soda
-1/2 teaspoon salt
-2 cups rolled oats (I use the 5-min variety)
-1-2 cups chocolate chips (I use 2 cups semi-sweet - ummmm!)
-1 cup nuts (I use pecan pieces - don't get them crushed, or the extra
-	    oil will make greasy cookies)
-1 cup shredded or flaked coconut
-
-(The nuts were listed as optional and I added the coconut myself, but
-I really love them there! You could also add things like m&m's, or
-raisins (I don't care for raisins in cookies, but you might).  I've
-always wanted to try banana chips.)
-
-Mix well. Drop by teaspoonfuls on greased cookie sheet (I use pam).
-Bake at 375 degrees for approx. 10 min.
+So, here it is, and please pass it on to someone else or run a few copies...  I
+paid for it; now you can have it for free.
 
-My aunt found this recipe in an Amish book called something like
-"Eating Well When The Whole World Is Starving," and although I thought
-a cookie recipe was a bit odd for a book like that, they are about the
-healthiest a cookie is ever likely to get.
-
-They are also very easy to make (no blending, sifting, rolling, etc.)
-and extremely delicious.  I get rave reviews and recipe requests whenever
-I make them.
-
-				- rene
-
-Chocolate Chip Cookies - Glamorous, crunchy, rich with chocolate bits & nuts.
-
-Also known as "Toll House" Cookies ... from Kenneth and Ruth Wakefield's 
-charming New England Toll House on the outskirts of Whitman, Massachusetts.
-These cookies were first introduced to American homemakers in 1939 through
-our series of radio talks on "Famous Foods From Famous Eating Places."
+	(Trust me; this recipe is so good that you will want to make as much as
+	you can at once, which is why I list so much.  This may be doubled, of
+	course):
+	1 pig carcass (all parts that are technically digestible but can't be
+		used for any other purpose, even hot dogs)
+	1 gallon castor oil
+	1 salt lick
+	1 gallon vomit
+	16 lbs recycled plastic
 
-Mix Thoroughly :
-	2/3 cup soft shortening ( part butter )
-	1/2 cup granulated sugar
-	1/2 cup brown sugar ( packed )
-	1 egg
-	1 tsp vanilla
-
-Sift together and stir in :
-	1-1/2 cups sifted flour (*)
-	1/2 tsp soda
-	1/2 tsp salt
-
-Stir in :
-	1/2 cup cut-up nuts
-	6 oz package of semi-sweet chocolate pieces ( about 1-1/4 cups )
-
-
-(*) for a softer, more rounded cookie, use 1-3/4 cups sifted flour.
-
+	The cooking technique is simple.  Use a blender, branch shredder, or
+	anything else handy to shred the carcass, salt, and plastic; mix evenly
+	in a sufficiently large container.  There are a variety of ways to cook
+	it; in experimenting, I have found the best option to be slow boiling
+	in motor oil.  But the specific method of cooking doesn't matter much;
+	with such an extraordinary combination of ingredients, nobody will know
+	the difference.  When it is cooked, compress it into small tins (at
+	Hormel, it came in dark blue tins with four large white or yellow
+	letters -- I won't specify which four letter word, because there are
+	some people who find it to be more obscene and offensive than a certain
+	crude word for sex), and open and enjoy at leisure.  You don't need to
+	worry about it spoiling; bacteria won't touch it, and at any rate
+	there is a specific reason why it _can't_ go bad.  Makes at least 112
+	tins.
 
-Drop rounded teaspoonfuls about 2" apart on ungreased baking sheet. Bake until
-delicately browned ... cookies should still be soft. Cool slightly before you
-remove them from the baking sheet.
+Have fun!!  This is not a joke --- this is a true story.  That's it.  Please,
+pass it along to everyone you know, single people, mailing lists, etc...
 
-Temperature:		375 F. ( modern oven )
-Time:			bake 8 - 10 minutes
-Amount:			4 - 5 dozen 2" cookies
-
-
-=====
-
-Personal comments :
+Oh, and one last thing I almost forgot...
 
-I find it tastes better with a mixture of shortening and butter, as they say.
-
-You don't need << all >> of that sugar, and it can be whatever color you want.
-
-The nuts are optional. Feel free to play with the recipe. I put oatmeal in it,
-reducing flour accordingly, and sometimes cinnamon.
+I feel a little guilty for presuming to speak about how to best serve a
+delicacy so wonderful -- the final word must go to gourmets and chefs with a
+taste far more refined than mine -- but there are a thousand ways in which it
+may be served, and, after a little experimenting, I really HAVE to share with
+you my personal favorite:
 
-I also find it useful to grease the cookie sheets.
-
-I think I'm going to go bake some now ...
-
--- richard
-
+	Open one tin; slice thinly.  Marinate in pesto sauce, with a touch of
+	thyme.  Roast slowly over an open flame (I have found wood --
+	preferably oak -- to work best), then THROW THE STUPID THING OUT THE
+	WINDOW AND COOK YOURSELF A STEAK.