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Import from CVS: tag r20-3b16
author cvs
date Mon, 13 Aug 2007 09:52:19 +0200
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178:e703507b8a00 179:9ad43877534d
1 Introduction
2
3 Thank you for downloading XEmacs. We of the XEmacs development team
4 believe user satisfaction is our number one priority, and we hope that
5 you will be pleased with the power of our editor. Please follow all
6 of the instructions in order to enjoy a quick and easy installation.
7
8
9 Getting Started
10
11 In this guide, information which you will need to supply will be enclosed in
12 angle brackets, <like this>. Commands which you will have to enter will be
13 indented,
14
15 like this.
16
17 You will need to provide a loading directory, in which to load the
18 material from tape (/tmp/xemacs is recommended), and a permanent
19 installation directory (/usr/local/xemacs is recommended).
20
21
22 Loading From Tape
23
24 First create and change directory to the loading directory:
25
26 mkdir <working directory>
27 cd <working directory>
28
29 Now you are ready to load the software from tape.
30
31 The specific device name needed to load the tape varies with hardware vendors,
32 and may be found in Appendix A, "Vendors and Device Names".
33
34 Load the software from tape:
35
36 tar xvf /dev/<device name>
37
38 You have now loaded all of the software from tape, and are ready to compile and
39 install the XEmacs Text Editor.
40
41
42 Compiling and Installing the XEmacs Editor
43
44 Compiling and installing the libraries is handled by a user-friendly shell
45 script. You will need to provide some information to the script, such as your
46 organization name and registration number. To run the script, type
47
48 /bin/sh xemacs/xemacs.install -d <installation directory>
49
50 Follow the script's directions, and provide the information which it prompts
51 for.
52
53 When the script prompts you for the directory in which the distribution files
54 are located, you will find that you are unable to provide it with any directory
55 which the script will deem satisfactory. That is because it is necessary to
56 order the following additional parts which are necessary to continue with the
57 installation:
58
59 Part Number Qty Name Price
60
61 GM-96-3026 1 Goat, male 1000.00
62 CB-13-2395 1 Candle, black 50.00
63 CG-63-6376 1 Chalk dust container 10.00
64 IB-89-3335 5 Incense sticks 5.00
65 DE-44-8846 1 Dagger, ebon, curved 500.00
66 AS-87-2319 1 Altar, silver 10000.00
67
68 Wait until the additional parts arrive; you will be ready to continue the
69 installation the next Friday the 13th at midnight.
70
71
72 Ritual for Successfully Completing Installation
73
74 Stand in front of the computer. Pour out the chalk dust in an inscribed
75 pentagram around you; be sure that it is without breaks. Set an incense stick
76 at each of the five corners, the altar in front of the computer, and the candle
77 in front of the altar.
78
79 Light each of the incense sticks and the candles, chanting in a low voice:
80
81 Daemons and spirits of the netherworld
82 Forces of all that is chaotic and mysterious
83 Essence of Netscape and MicroSoft
84
85 I am coming here to appease you
86 I offer you this goat
87 That my software may work
88
89 I bind you here
90 Do not make my system crash
91 Let the software install as advertised
92
93 Place the goat on the altar, and slaughter it with the dagger.
94
95 May this goat feed you
96 Sate your lust for blood
97 Into it may your mischief fly
98 Not my computer
99 Make the software work
100 For this is the only way
101
102 Then spit into the computer's ventilation slots. This will complete different
103 circuits inside the computer, causing its motherboard and cards to function in
104 ways that the engineers never intended, thereby making your system compatible
105 with our libraries.
106
107 Reboot your computer. The installation is now complete.
108
109 [This has undergone a minor rewrite for XEmacs. It originally
110 appeared on rec.humor.funny courtesy of jonathan seth hayward
111 <jhayward@students.uiuc.edu>, and is included by permission of the
112 author].