179
+ − 1 Introduction
+ − 2
+ − 3 Thank you for downloading XEmacs. We of the XEmacs development team
+ − 4 believe user satisfaction is our number one priority, and we hope that
+ − 5 you will be pleased with the power of our editor. Please follow all
+ − 6 of the instructions in order to enjoy a quick and easy installation.
+ − 7
+ − 8
+ − 9 Getting Started
+ − 10
+ − 11 In this guide, information which you will need to supply will be enclosed in
+ − 12 angle brackets, <like this>. Commands which you will have to enter will be
+ − 13 indented,
+ − 14
+ − 15 like this.
+ − 16
+ − 17 You will need to provide a loading directory, in which to load the
+ − 18 material from tape (/tmp/xemacs is recommended), and a permanent
+ − 19 installation directory (/usr/local/xemacs is recommended).
+ − 20
+ − 21
+ − 22 Loading From Tape
+ − 23
+ − 24 First create and change directory to the loading directory:
+ − 25
+ − 26 mkdir <working directory>
+ − 27 cd <working directory>
+ − 28
+ − 29 Now you are ready to load the software from tape.
+ − 30
+ − 31 The specific device name needed to load the tape varies with hardware vendors,
+ − 32 and may be found in Appendix A, "Vendors and Device Names".
+ − 33
+ − 34 Load the software from tape:
+ − 35
+ − 36 tar xvf /dev/<device name>
+ − 37
+ − 38 You have now loaded all of the software from tape, and are ready to compile and
+ − 39 install the XEmacs Text Editor.
+ − 40
+ − 41
+ − 42 Compiling and Installing the XEmacs Editor
+ − 43
+ − 44 Compiling and installing the libraries is handled by a user-friendly shell
+ − 45 script. You will need to provide some information to the script, such as your
+ − 46 organization name and registration number. To run the script, type
+ − 47
+ − 48 /bin/sh xemacs/xemacs.install -d <installation directory>
+ − 49
+ − 50 Follow the script's directions, and provide the information which it prompts
+ − 51 for.
+ − 52
+ − 53 When the script prompts you for the directory in which the distribution files
+ − 54 are located, you will find that you are unable to provide it with any directory
+ − 55 which the script will deem satisfactory. That is because it is necessary to
+ − 56 order the following additional parts which are necessary to continue with the
+ − 57 installation:
+ − 58
+ − 59 Part Number Qty Name Price
+ − 60
+ − 61 GM-96-3026 1 Goat, male 1000.00
+ − 62 CB-13-2395 1 Candle, black 50.00
+ − 63 CG-63-6376 1 Chalk dust container 10.00
+ − 64 IB-89-3335 5 Incense sticks 5.00
+ − 65 DE-44-8846 1 Dagger, ebon, curved 500.00
+ − 66 AS-87-2319 1 Altar, silver 10000.00
+ − 67
+ − 68 Wait until the additional parts arrive; you will be ready to continue the
+ − 69 installation the next Friday the 13th at midnight.
+ − 70
+ − 71
+ − 72 Ritual for Successfully Completing Installation
+ − 73
+ − 74 Stand in front of the computer. Pour out the chalk dust in an inscribed
+ − 75 pentagram around you; be sure that it is without breaks. Set an incense stick
+ − 76 at each of the five corners, the altar in front of the computer, and the candle
+ − 77 in front of the altar.
+ − 78
+ − 79 Light each of the incense sticks and the candles, chanting in a low voice:
+ − 80
+ − 81 Daemons and spirits of the netherworld
+ − 82 Forces of all that is chaotic and mysterious
+ − 83 Essence of Netscape and MicroSoft
+ − 84
+ − 85 I am coming here to appease you
+ − 86 I offer you this goat
+ − 87 That my software may work
+ − 88
+ − 89 I bind you here
+ − 90 Do not make my system crash
+ − 91 Let the software install as advertised
+ − 92
+ − 93 Place the goat on the altar, and slaughter it with the dagger.
+ − 94
+ − 95 May this goat feed you
+ − 96 Sate your lust for blood
+ − 97 Into it may your mischief fly
+ − 98 Not my computer
+ − 99 Make the software work
+ − 100 For this is the only way
+ − 101
+ − 102 Then spit into the computer's ventilation slots. This will complete different
+ − 103 circuits inside the computer, causing its motherboard and cards to function in
+ − 104 ways that the engineers never intended, thereby making your system compatible
+ − 105 with our libraries.
+ − 106
+ − 107 Reboot your computer. The installation is now complete.
+ − 108
+ − 109 [This has undergone a minor rewrite for XEmacs. It originally
+ − 110 appeared on rec.humor.funny courtesy of jonathan seth hayward
+ − 111 <jhayward@students.uiuc.edu>, and is included by permission of the
+ − 112 author].