--- a/laura_dunkel_visit.txt	Wed Nov 13 15:34:37 2013 -0500
+++ b/laura_dunkel_visit.txt	Fri Feb 13 13:07:34 2015 -0500
@@ -26,7 +26,7 @@
 Having been called to attend GM in Glasgow, nearly not managing it
 because of the need to register as a non-Member, but being very warmly
 helped over the difficulties, crystallised Laura's desire to join the
-Society: "I want this to feel like my family".
+Society: "I want feel part of this family".
 
 After a few conversations and some further reflection, and attendance
 at several Area Meetings, she decided the time was right to apply.
@@ -42,12 +42,11 @@
 for others and herself, has been an important insight.
 
 Laura wasn't brought up in a church, but not anti-church either.
-She's talked a bit with her mother about what she is finding with
-Friends, as she has with her brother and his partner and her family
-more widely.  She has been talking more about Quakers with friends
+She's talked a bit with her mother about her spiritual journey, and with her brother and his partner and her family
+more widely about what she is finding with friends. She has been talking more about Quakers with friends
 and family lately, and finding some surprisingly receptive responses.
 People are interested in how she can be quiet for so long, and she
-tries to explain that it's not like a punishment.
+tries to explain that it's not awkward or uncomfortable.
 
 Her partner has been very supportive about her Quaker commitment, and
 ways in which her involvement with Quakers is leading her to want to
@@ -57,12 +56,12 @@
 at Polmont.  The diversity of experience and attitude she found there
 was both challenging and encouraging: all different, but all the same
 as well.  More recently she led a session of the Polmont discussion
-group on Peace and Social Justice.  Polmont's regular discussion
+group on Equity and Social Justice.  Polmont's regular discussion
 sessions have also deepened her connection with the other members of
 the meeting, growing out of the experiences that others have offered.
 
-The experience of praying in times of challenge in her life, both for
-herself and for those who depend on her, and the sense of support this
+The experience of regular prayer, as well AS praying in times of challenge in her life, both for
+herself and for others around her, and the sense of support this
 brings, is an important affirmation of the reality of the spiritual
 background to her life.
 
@@ -80,9 +79,9 @@
 Actively working to avoid deception, going beyond just avoiding
 falsehood, is part of the same process.
 
-Laura is impressed by the way the meeting chooses to support a wide
-range of charities, and how that challenges her to look beyond the
-list of her regular contributions, particularly to smaller/less
+Laura is impressed by the way Polmont meeting chooses to support a
+wide range of charities, and how that challenges her to look beyond
+the list of her regular contributions, particularly to smaller/less
 aggressively advertised groups.
 
 Laura likes it that Quakerism is a faith about questions -- being on a
@@ -92,5 +91,3 @@
 We are all more than satisfied that Laura has indeed found her
 spiritual family, and that ratifying this with Membership is the right
 thing for her and for us.
-
-