Mercurial > hg > rsof
changeset 157:77c17553b938
reflowed to enable, and did, merge with text of version from Laura
| author | Henry Thompson <ht@markup.co.uk> |
|---|---|
| date | Fri, 15 Mar 2019 19:33:33 +0000 |
| parents | 2fac7d990278 |
| children | a7a34b7fa0ae |
| files | philip_20190224.xml |
| diffstat | 1 files changed, 191 insertions(+), 107 deletions(-) [+] |
line wrap: on
line diff
--- a/philip_20190224.xml Fri Mar 15 17:31:59 2019 +0000 +++ b/philip_20190224.xml Fri Mar 15 19:33:33 2019 +0000 @@ -1,107 +1,191 @@ -<?xml version='1.0'?> -<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?> -<!DOCTYPE doc SYSTEM "../../lib/xml/doc.dtd" > -<doc> - <head> - <title>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</title> - <author>Philip Corrie-Hawes</author> - <author>Laura Pearson</author> - <author>Henry S. Thompson</author> - <date>24 Feb 2019</date> - </head> - <body> - <div> - <title>Introduction</title> - <p>At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met -with Philip at his home to discuss his application for membership. After a -pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband [name here please, sorry for bad -memory!], we settled in to worship, during which some excerpts from QF&P -11.1 were read. Philip then shared with us his background and the ways in -which his involvement -with Friends had developed.</p> - </div> - <div> - <title>Philip's journey towards membership </title> - <p>Philip went to to CofE schools, but let go of any -idea of religion on leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an -atheist, while recognising that that was a belief -in itself. He know sees that ever since then there's been a patter of moving towards faith, stepping back, looking -for faith, something that was missing, not finding it, trying again. Looking for a way to make -a contribution to peoples lives, a key -step came when he took a job as support worker in a mental -health setting, after years in financial services. But after 3 years or so he -burned out, and realised that he had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an -individual, and that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP). Digging deeper, looking back at -how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask, -enabled Philip to look more deeply at his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent -communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to -participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past -without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a -citizen advocate.</p> - <p>But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and -tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the environment h -grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't take Christian doctrine -or the Bible -literally. The Bible has stories about how to live, without being -historically true. He began looking for a religious context that was consistent with -that, <emph>and</emph> that wouldn't find his sexuality a problem. He -experimented with local churches, read about them extensively online, -then contacted someone online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say -to me?" First-time response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some -vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early -on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of -attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK -with his husband. He was supportive, and Philip got a positive response to an email to -Laurie Naumann. </p> - <p>So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. On the day it -was good, supportive, "I felt quite held". There was no quaking, but an -atmosphere he could tap in to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce -himself, which he wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do -so. Drove home smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That -was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He feels that he's now reached the foundation of -where he needs to be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring -further from -what is now his spiritual home.</p> - <div> - <title>Where Philip is now</title> - <p>He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central -Fife LM treasurer, he goes to -Area Meeting when he can, he's organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline. -Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He -does still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it, but he's -getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels fortunate that -Britain Yearly Meeting -is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition. Sitting in silence -<emph>and</emph> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of -what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes him who he is.</p> - <p>He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about -whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the local -Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was not for him. He -is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him for who he is. All views -are heard. He doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry comes, it -will be given to him.</p> - <p>For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge. -It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part of his -life is in making a deeper commitment. And, that he has something to offer, -as he's already begun to do.</p> - <p>He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we have to offer more -effectively. You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so -refreshing. He's loving that he's found a community he can be a -part of and where he can feel safe. What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on -business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p> - <p>He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he looked at, -whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration -that you believe certain things.</p> -</div> - <p>When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that we -didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the spirit leads. Not -"this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a -particular path at this time. We all take responsibility.</p> - <p>The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of -journey from a base that he had expressed, and grateful that they had shared it -with him. We closed with a comfortable silence, in no doubt that Philips -membership in our Society was already a reality, now ready for recognition by -Area Meeting.</p> - </div> - </body> -</doc> +<?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?> +<doc> +<head> +<title> +Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes +</title> +<author> +Philip Corrie-Hawes +</author> +<author> +Laura Pearson +</author> +<author> +Henry S. Thompson +</author> +<date> +15 March 2019 +</date> +</head> +<body> +<div> +<title> +Introduction +</title> +<p> + +At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met +with Philip at his home to discuss his application for +membership. After a pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband Mark +and some cuddles from their dog Fudge, we settled in to worship, during +which some excerpts from QF&P 11.1 were read. Philip then shared +with us his background and the ways in which his involvement with +Friends had developed. + +</p> +</div> +<div> +<title> + +Philip's journey towards membership + +</title> +<p> + +Finding the Religious Society of Friends was the result of a process +of seeking which Philip entered feeling that something was missing +from his life. + +Philip went to CofE schools, but let go of any idea of religion on +leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an atheist, while +recognising that that was a belief in itself. He now sees that ever +since then there's been a pattern of moving towards faith, stepping +back, looking for faith, or that something that was missing, not +finding it and trying again. In looking for a way to make a +contribution to peoples lives, a key step came when he took a job as +support worker in a mental health setting, after years in financial +services. But after 3 years or so he burned out, and realised that he +had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him +understand that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP) and with +that he began a process of digging deeper to find himself. Through +this project of self-exploration, he considered how hiding his +sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask and not being his true +self. This process enabled +Philip to look more deeply at universal +human needs and his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent +communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. An understanding of HSP and using +NVC techniques have helped Philip understand his yearning for belonging, meaning and a place to contribute and +participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the +past without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, +and time as a citizen advocate. + +</p> +<p> + +But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and +tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the +environment he grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't +take Christian doctrine or the Bible literally. The Bible has stories +about how to live, without being historically true. He began looking +for a religious context that was consistent with that, while having at +the back of his mind that even if he did seek fellowship he wouldn't +be welcomed due to his sexuality. He experimented with local churches, +firstly by reading about them extensively online, then contacting them +through email, in particular asking for their opinion on gay +marriage. First-time response was always positive, but beyond that +there was usually some vagueness, along with some explicit +negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early on, along with +Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the +point of attending a MfW, as Philip felt he needed to be hopeful it +was going to work, and also that it would be OK with his husband. Mark +was unconditionally supportive of Philip's search, and on sending an +enquiring email, Philip received a positive response from Laurie +Naumann. + +So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. Philip +describes this as a "phenomenal experience". He found he understood +the structure and felt the silence utterly fulfilling. He explains +that he "felt quite +held". There was no quaking, but an atmosphere he could tap in +to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce himself, which he wasn't +expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do so. Philip reflected that he drove home +smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That +was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He +feels that he's now reached the foundation of where he needs to +be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring further from +what is now his spiritual home. + +</p> +<div> +<title> + +Where Philip is now + +</title> +<p> + +He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central +Fife LM treasurer, he goes to Area Meeting when he can and he's +organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline. Being in the meeting +has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He describes +Quakerism as an anchor to come back to when he gets worried or things +get too much "a way to reflect and re-energise". He does still +struggle to define simply what it is that he gets from it, but he's +getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels +fortunate that Britain Yearly Meeting is part of the 'liberal' Quaker +tradition. Sitting in silence <emph>and</emph> going regularly to the +discussion groups are both part of what has become a very big piece of +the jigsaw which makes him who he is. + +</p> +<p> + +He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about +whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the +local Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was +not for him. He is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him +for who he is, and where all views are heard without judgement. He +doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry +comes, it will be given to him. + +</p> +<p> + +For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge. It +is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part +of his life is in making a deeper commitment. And a way of saying that +he has something to willingly and lovingly offer to a community, as +he's already begun to do. + +</p> +<p> + +He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we +have to offer more effectively. He's loving that he's found a +community he can be a part of and where he can feel safe and where you +don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so refreshing. He +recognises that we can blunder and we're fallable but the intention is +always to connect, however you describe it. What binds us together is +the style of worship, the way we agree on business, viewing what +people say without blame or criticism. + +</p> +<p> + +He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he +looked at, whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without +signing a declaration that you believe certain things. + +</p> +</div> +<p> + +When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that +we didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the +spirit leads. Not "this is right, this is wrong", but being +in the moment, being led to take a particular path at this time and +where we all take responsibility. + +</p> +<p> + +The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of +journey from a base that he had expressed, and grateful that they had +shared it with him. We closed with a comfortable silence, in no doubt +that Philips membership in our Society was already a reality, now +ready for recognition by Area Meeting. + +</p> +</div> +</body> +</doc>