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  <title>Visit with Philip Hawes-</title>
  <author>Philip Hawes</author>
  <author>Laura </author>
  <author>Henry S. Thompson</author>
  <date>24 Feb 2019</date>
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   <title>Readings drawn from QF&amp;P 11.1</title>
   <p>Today membership may not involve putting liberty, goods or life at risk but the spiritual understanding of membership is, in essentials, the same as that which guided the ‘Children of the Light’. People still become Friends through ‘convincement’, and like early Friends they wrestle and rejoice with that experience. Membership is still seen as a discipleship, a discipline within a broadly Christian perspective and our Quaker tradition, where the way we live is as important as the beliefs we affirm.</p>
   <p>Membership is for those who feel at home and in the right place within the Quaker community. Membership is also a way of saying to the meeting, and to the world, that you accept at least the fundamental elements of being a Quaker: the understanding of divine guidance, the manner of corporate worship and the ordering of the meeting’s business, the practical expression of inward convictions and the equality of all before God. Participation in the process that leads to admission into the community of the meeting is an affirmation of what the meeting stands for and of your willingness to contribute to its life.</p>
   <p>Membership does not require great moral or spiritual achievement, but it does require a sincerity of purpose and a commitment to Quaker values and practices. Membership is a spiritual discipline, a commitment to the well-being of one’s spiritual home and not simply appearance on a membership roll.</p>
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   <title>Philip's journey towards membership </title>
   <p>considered staunchly that he was an atheist, recognising that's a belief
in itself.  Since then a journey, moving towards faith, stepping back, looking
for faith, something that was missing.  Job as support worker in a mental
health setting, after years in financial services.  Looking for a way to make
a contribution to peoples lives, after 3 years or so burned out himself.
Understood it at the time that he had taken on more than he could manage, that
he wasn't suited for.  Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an
individual, and that he was highly sensitive (HSP).  Digging deeper, looking back at
how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask.
Enabled to look more deeply at his own unmet needs.  'Non-violent
communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss.  Check-ins every working
day.  HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to
participate.  Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past
without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a
citizen advocate.</p>
   <p>But there was still something missing.  Began, privately and
tentatively, to explore faith.  Had gone to CofE schools, but let go of any
idea of religion on leaving school.  Culturally Christian, but doesn't take it
literally.  The bible has stories about how to live, without being
historically true.  Looking for a religious context that was consistent with
that, <emph>and</emph> wouldn't find his sexuality a problem.  Always had
difficulty making friends, finding a community, even getting to know
neighbours.  Experimented with local churches, read extensively online,
contacted people online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say
to me?"  First-line response was always positive, but there was some
vagueness, along with some explicit negatives.  Had looked at Quakers quite early
on, Humanism, Buddhism, meditation.  Took a long time to get to the point of
attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK
with my husband.  He was supportive, I got a positive response to an email to
Laurie Naumann, and on the day it was good, supportive, "I felt quite held".</p>
   <p>Not quaking, but an atmosphere I could tap in to.  Welcomed, and asked to introduce
myself, which I wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety I was able to do
so.  Drove home smiling:  I've found something I want to go back to.  I've
been attending for two years, and feel that I've now reached the foundation of
where I need to be.  I'm not done, but I have the basis for exploring from
what is now my spiritual home.</p>
   <p>Very engaged in a practical sense:  I'm the LM treasurer, I've been to
Area Meeting when I can, I'm organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline.
Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps me well.  I
do still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it.  I'm
getting better at living with being unable to do that.  I'm fortunate that ByM
is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition.  Sitting in silence
<emph>and</emph> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of
what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes me who I am.</p>
   <p>I needed to check one last time, it seemed, and went to the local
Episcopal service, and I had to leave halfway through: this was not for me.  I
am home, with people who accept me for who I am.  All views are heard.  I
don't feel any expectation to say something clever.  When ministry comes, it
will be given to me.  Membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge.
It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering myself to this part of my
life is in making a deeper commitment.  And, that I have something to offer,
as I've already begun to do.</p>
   <p>I sometimes regret our inability to broadcast what we have to offer more
effectively.  You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so
refreshing.  I'm loving that I've find a community where I can feel safe and a
part of.  What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on
business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p>
   <p>I couldn't fit myself to the mode of all the other churches I looked at,
whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration
that you believe certain things.</p>
   <p>HST: what about MfWfB?  P: not consensus, not a vote, but where the spirit leads.  Not
"this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a
particular path at this time.  We all take responsibility.</p>
   <p>L: Touched about the sense of journey from a base that you've expressed.</p>
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author	Henry Thompson <ht@markup.co.uk>
date	Sun, 03 Mar 2019 10:34:11 +0000
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children	2d22d73eba1a