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1 <?xml version='1.0'?>
2 <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?> 1 <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?>
3 <!DOCTYPE doc SYSTEM "../../lib/xml/doc.dtd" >
4 <doc> 2 <doc>
5 <head> 3 <head>
6 <title>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</title> 4 <title>
7 <author>Philip Corrie-Hawes</author> 5 Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes
8 <author>Laura Pearson</author> 6 </title>
9 <author>Henry S. Thompson</author> 7 <author>
10 <date>24 Feb 2019</date> 8 Philip Corrie-Hawes
11 </head> 9 </author>
12 <body> 10 <author>
13 <div> 11 Laura Pearson
14 <title>Introduction</title> 12 </author>
15 <p>At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met 13 <author>
16 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for membership. After a 14 Henry S. Thompson
17 pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband [name here please, sorry for bad 15 </author>
18 memory!], we settled in to worship, during which some excerpts from QF&amp;P 16 <date>
19 11.1 were read. Philip then shared with us his background and the ways in 17 15 March 2019
20 which his involvement 18 </date>
21 with Friends had developed.</p> 19 </head>
22 </div> 20 <body>
23 <div> 21 <div>
24 <title>Philip's journey towards membership </title> 22 <title>
25 <p>Philip went to to CofE schools, but let go of any 23 Introduction
26 idea of religion on leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an 24 </title>
27 atheist, while recognising that that was a belief 25 <p>
28 in itself. He know sees that ever since then there's been a patter of moving towards faith, stepping back, looking 26
29 for faith, something that was missing, not finding it, trying again. Looking for a way to make 27 At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met
30 a contribution to peoples lives, a key 28 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for
31 step came when he took a job as support worker in a mental 29 membership. After a pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband Mark
32 health setting, after years in financial services. But after 3 years or so he 30 and some cuddles from their dog Fudge, we settled in to worship, during
33 burned out, and realised that he had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an 31 which some excerpts from QF&amp;P 11.1 were read. Philip then shared
34 individual, and that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP). Digging deeper, looking back at 32 with us his background and the ways in which his involvement with
35 how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask, 33 Friends had developed.
36 enabled Philip to look more deeply at his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent 34
37 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to 35 </p>
38 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past
39 without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a
40 citizen advocate.</p>
41 <p>But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and
42 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the environment h
43 grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't take Christian doctrine
44 or the Bible
45 literally. The Bible has stories about how to live, without being
46 historically true. He began looking for a religious context that was consistent with
47 that, <emph>and</emph> that wouldn't find his sexuality a problem. He
48 experimented with local churches, read about them extensively online,
49 then contacted someone online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say
50 to me?" First-time response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some
51 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early
52 on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of
53 attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK
54 with his husband. He was supportive, and Philip got a positive response to an email to
55 Laurie Naumann. </p>
56 <p>So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. On the day it
57 was good, supportive, "I felt quite held". There was no quaking, but an
58 atmosphere he could tap in to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce
59 himself, which he wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do
60 so. Drove home smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That
61 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He feels that he's now reached the foundation of
62 where he needs to be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring
63 further from
64 what is now his spiritual home.</p>
65 <div>
66 <title>Where Philip is now</title>
67 <p>He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central
68 Fife LM treasurer, he goes to
69 Area Meeting when he can, he's organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline.
70 Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He
71 does still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it, but he's
72 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels fortunate that
73 Britain Yearly Meeting
74 is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition. Sitting in silence
75 <emph>and</emph> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of
76 what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes him who he is.</p>
77 <p>He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about
78 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the local
79 Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was not for him. He
80 is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him for who he is. All views
81 are heard. He doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry comes, it
82 will be given to him.</p>
83 <p>For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge.
84 It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part of his
85 life is in making a deeper commitment. And, that he has something to offer,
86 as he's already begun to do.</p>
87 <p>He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we have to offer more
88 effectively. You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so
89 refreshing. He's loving that he's found a community he can be a
90 part of and where he can feel safe. What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on
91 business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p>
92 <p>He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he looked at,
93 whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration
94 that you believe certain things.</p>
95 </div> 36 </div>
96 <p>When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that we 37 <div>
97 didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the spirit leads. Not 38 <title>
98 "this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a 39
99 particular path at this time. We all take responsibility.</p> 40 Philip's journey towards membership
100 <p>The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of 41
101 journey from a base that he had expressed, and grateful that they had shared it 42 </title>
102 with him. We closed with a comfortable silence, in no doubt that Philips 43 <p>
103 membership in our Society was already a reality, now ready for recognition by 44
104 Area Meeting.</p> 45 Finding the Religious Society of Friends was the result of a process
105 </div> 46 of seeking which Philip entered feeling that something was missing
106 </body> 47 from his life.
48
49 Philip went to CofE schools, but let go of any idea of religion on
50 leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an atheist, while
51 recognising that that was a belief in itself. He now sees that ever
52 since then there's been a pattern of moving towards faith, stepping
53 back, looking for faith, or that something that was missing, not
54 finding it and trying again. In looking for a way to make a
55 contribution to peoples lives, a key step came when he took a job as
56 support worker in a mental health setting, after years in financial
57 services. But after 3 years or so he burned out, and realised that he
58 had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him
59 understand that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP) and with
60 that he began a process of digging deeper to find himself. Through
61 this project of self-exploration, he considered how hiding his
62 sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask and not being his true
63 self. This process enabled
64 Philip to look more deeply at universal
65 human needs and his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent
66 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. An understanding of HSP and using
67 NVC techniques have helped Philip understand his yearning for belonging, meaning and a place to contribute and
68 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the
69 past without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan,
70 and time as a citizen advocate.
71
72 </p>
73 <p>
74
75 But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and
76 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the
77 environment he grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't
78 take Christian doctrine or the Bible literally. The Bible has stories
79 about how to live, without being historically true. He began looking
80 for a religious context that was consistent with that, while having at
81 the back of his mind that even if he did seek fellowship he wouldn't
82 be welcomed due to his sexuality. He experimented with local churches,
83 firstly by reading about them extensively online, then contacting them
84 through email, in particular asking for their opinion on gay
85 marriage. First-time response was always positive, but beyond that
86 there was usually some vagueness, along with some explicit
87 negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early on, along with
88 Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the
89 point of attending a MfW, as Philip felt he needed to be hopeful it
90 was going to work, and also that it would be OK with his husband. Mark
91 was unconditionally supportive of Philip's search, and on sending an
92 enquiring email, Philip received a positive response from Laurie
93 Naumann.
94
95 So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. Philip
96 describes this as a "phenomenal experience". He found he understood
97 the structure and felt the silence utterly fulfilling. He explains
98 that he &quot;felt quite
99 held&quot;. There was no quaking, but an atmosphere he could tap in
100 to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce himself, which he wasn't
101 expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do so. Philip reflected that he drove home
102 smiling: &quot;I've found something I want to go back to&quot;. That
103 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He
104 feels that he's now reached the foundation of where he needs to
105 be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring further from
106 what is now his spiritual home.
107
108 </p>
109 <div>
110 <title>
111
112 Where Philip is now
113
114 </title>
115 <p>
116
117 He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central
118 Fife LM treasurer, he goes to Area Meeting when he can and he's
119 organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline. Being in the meeting
120 has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He describes
121 Quakerism as an anchor to come back to when he gets worried or things
122 get too much "a way to reflect and re-energise". He does still
123 struggle to define simply what it is that he gets from it, but he's
124 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels
125 fortunate that Britain Yearly Meeting is part of the 'liberal' Quaker
126 tradition. Sitting in silence <emph>and</emph> going regularly to the
127 discussion groups are both part of what has become a very big piece of
128 the jigsaw which makes him who he is.
129
130 </p>
131 <p>
132
133 He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about
134 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the
135 local Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was
136 not for him. He is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him
137 for who he is, and where all views are heard without judgement. He
138 doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry
139 comes, it will be given to him.
140
141 </p>
142 <p>
143
144 For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge. It
145 is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part
146 of his life is in making a deeper commitment. And a way of saying that
147 he has something to willingly and lovingly offer to a community, as
148 he's already begun to do.
149
150 </p>
151 <p>
152
153 He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we
154 have to offer more effectively. He's loving that he's found a
155 community he can be a part of and where he can feel safe and where you
156 don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so refreshing. He
157 recognises that we can blunder and we're fallable but the intention is
158 always to connect, however you describe it. What binds us together is
159 the style of worship, the way we agree on business, viewing what
160 people say without blame or criticism.
161
162 </p>
163 <p>
164
165 He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he
166 looked at, whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without
167 signing a declaration that you believe certain things.
168
169 </p>
170 </div>
171 <p>
172
173 When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that
174 we didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the
175 spirit leads. Not &quot;this is right, this is wrong&quot;, but being
176 in the moment, being led to take a particular path at this time and
177 where we all take responsibility.
178
179 </p>
180 <p>
181
182 The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of
183 journey from a base that he had expressed, and grateful that they had
184 shared it with him. We closed with a comfortable silence, in no doubt
185 that Philips membership in our Society was already a reality, now
186 ready for recognition by Area Meeting.
187
188 </p>
189 </div>
190 </body>
107 </doc> 191 </doc>