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1 <?xml version='1.0'?>
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2 <?xml-stylesheet type="text/xsl" href="../../lib/xml/doc.xsl" ?>
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3 <!DOCTYPE doc SYSTEM "../../lib/xml/doc.dtd" >
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4 <doc>
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5 <head>
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6 <title>Visit with Philip Corrie-Hawes</title>
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7 <author>Philip Corrie-Hawes</author>
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8 <author>Laura Pearson</author>
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9 <author>Henry S. Thompson</author>
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10 <date>24 Feb 2019</date>
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11 </head>
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12 <body>
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13 <div>
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14 <title>Introduction</title>
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15 <p>At the request of Southeast Scotland Area Meeting, Laura and Henry met
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16 with Philip at his home to discuss his application for membership. After a
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17 pleasant lunch prepared by Philip's husband [name here please, sorry for bad
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18 memory!], we settled in to worship, during which some excerpts from QF&P
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19 11.1 were read. Philip then shared with us his background and the ways in
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20 which his involvement
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21 with Friends had developed.</p>
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22 </div>
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23 <div>
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24 <title>Philip's journey towards membership </title>
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25 <p>Philip went to to CofE schools, but let go of any
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26 idea of religion on leaving school. He considered staunchly that he was an
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27 atheist, while recognising that that was a belief
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28 in itself. He know sees that ever since then there's been a patter of moving towards faith, stepping back, looking
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29 for faith, something that was missing, not finding it, trying again. Looking for a way to make
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30 a contribution to peoples lives, a key
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31 step came when he took a job as support worker in a mental
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32 health setting, after years in financial services. But after 3 years or so he
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33 burned out, and realised that he had taken on more than he could manage. Counselling helped him understand what he needed as an
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34 individual, and that he was a 'highly sensitive person' (HSP). Digging deeper, looking back at
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35 how hiding his sexuality had meant always being on guard, wearing a mask,
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36 enabled Philip to look more deeply at his own unmet needs. 'Non-violent
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37 communication' (NVC), introduced by his new boss, also helped. HSP and NVC have helped Philip understand his yearning to contribute, to
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38 participate. Realising this made sense of things he had done in the past
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39 without quite realising why, for example a year as a Samaritan, and time as a
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40 citizen advocate.</p>
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41 <p>But there was still something missing. Philip began, privately and
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42 tentatively, to explore faith. He recognised that because of the environment h
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43 grew up in he was culturally Christian, but he doesn't take Christian doctrine
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44 or the Bible
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45 literally. The Bible has stories about how to live, without being
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46 historically true. He began looking for a religious context that was consistent with
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47 that, <emph>and</emph> that wouldn't find his sexuality a problem. He
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48 experimented with local churches, read about them extensively online,
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49 then contacted someone online asking them "This is me, a gay man, what can you say
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50 to me?" First-time response was always positive, but beyond that there was usually some
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51 vagueness, along with some explicit negatives. He had looked at Quakers quite early
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52 on, along with Humanism, Buddhism and meditation. It took a long time to get to the point of
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53 attending a MfW, needed to be hopeful it was going to work, and would be OK
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54 with his husband. He was supportive, and Philip got a positive response to an email to
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55 Laurie Naumann. </p>
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56 <p>So, he went to his first Meeting for Worship in Kirkcaldy. On the day it
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57 was good, supportive, "I felt quite held". There was no quaking, but an
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58 atmosphere he could tap in to. He was welcomed, and asked to introduce
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59 himself, which he wasn't expecting, but despite some anxiety he was able to do
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60 so. Drove home smiling: "I've found something I want to go back to". That
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61 was two years ago, and he's been attending regularly since then. He feels that he's now reached the foundation of
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62 where he needs to be. He's not done, but he has the basis for exploring
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63 further from
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64 what is now his spiritual home.</p>
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65 <div>
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66 <title>Where Philip is now</title>
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67 <p>He's very engaged with Friends in a practical sense: he's the Central
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68 Fife LM treasurer, he goes to
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69 Area Meeting when he can, he's organising the new monthly MfW in Dunfermline.
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70 Being in the meeting has become an important strand of what keeps him well. He
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71 does still struggle to define simply what it is, what I get from it, but he's
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72 getting better at living with being unable to do that. He feels fortunate that
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73 Britain Yearly Meeting
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74 is part of the 'liberal' Quaker tradition. Sitting in silence
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75 <emph>and</emph> going regularly to the discussion groups are both part of
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76 what has become a very big piece of the jigsaw which makes him who he is.</p>
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77 <p>He did feel the need need to check one last time, it seemed, about
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78 whether Quakers were the right answer for him, and so went to the local
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79 Episcopal service, and realised halfway through that this was not for him. He
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80 is at home in the Meeting, with people who accept him for who he is. All views
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81 are heard. He doesn't feel any expectation to say something clever. When ministry comes, it
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82 will be given to him.</p>
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83 <p>For him, membership is an outward symbol of commitment, a pledge.
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84 It is a kind of label, but the symbolism of offering himself to this part of his
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85 life is in making a deeper commitment. And, that he has something to offer,
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86 as he's already begun to do.</p>
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87 <p>He sometimes regrets our inability as Quakers to broadcast what we have to offer more
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88 effectively. You don't have to adhere to a set of rules, which is so
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89 refreshing. He's loving that he's found a community he can be a
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90 part of and where he can feel safe. What binds us together is the style of worship, the way we agree on
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91 business, viewing what people say without blame or criticism.</p>
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92 <p>He couldn't fit himself to the mode of all the other churches he looked at,
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93 whereas Quakerism offered a place to just be, without signing a declaration
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94 that you believe certain things.</p>
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95 </div>
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96 <p>When asked about Meeting for Worship for Business, Philip noted that we
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97 didn't seek consensus, nor did we vote, but looked for where the spirit leads. Not
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98 "this is right, this is wrong", but being in the moment, being led to take a
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99 particular path at this time. We all take responsibility.</p>
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100 <p>The visitors let Philip know that they were touched by the sense of
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101 journey from a base that he had expressed, and grateful that they had shared it
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102 with him. We closed with a comfortable silence, in no doubt that Philips
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103 membership in our Society was already a reality, now ready for recognition by
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104 Area Meeting.</p>
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105 </div>
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106 </body>
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107 </doc>
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