changeset 23:2eda17d4debf default tip

as submitted
author Henry S. Thompson <ht@inf.ed.ac.uk>
date Wed, 21 Oct 2026 17:24:38 +0100
parents f2743a0a4eb7
children
files satp-core-review.txt
diffstat 1 files changed, 18 insertions(+), 8 deletions(-) [+]
line wrap: on
line diff
--- a/satp-core-review.txt	Wed Oct 21 15:27:14 2026 +0100
+++ b/satp-core-review.txt	Wed Oct 21 17:24:38 2026 +0100
@@ -2,17 +2,30 @@
 Document: https://www.ietf.org/archive/id/draft-ietf-satp-core-17.html
 Title: Secure Asset Transfer Protocol (SATP) Core
 Reviewer: Henry S. Thompson
-Review Date: Mon Oct 19 13:48:49 2026
+Review Date: Wed Oct 21 17:12:16 2026
 
 *Summary*
 
-As far as I can tell as a non-specialist, the ... is in good shape.
-There are ... below.
-
 This draft is part of a package of at least three parts, including
 also _Secure Asset Transfer (SAT) Interoperability Architecture_ and
 _Secure Asset Transfer (SAT) Use Cases_.
 
+Its aim is to present a concrete instantiation of the SAT
+Interoperability Architecture in terms of a specific set of message
+formats.  As far as I can tell as a non-specialist, it achieves that
+goal.
+
+But in my opinion it needs work on the presentation, particularly in
+the area of consistency and transparency of terminology, both
+internally and in relation to the terminology established by the SAT
+Interoperability Architecture, which I take to be the senior party in
+the trilogy.
+
+All of my comments below under 'Minor points' bar the very first are
+there, rather than under a more serious heading, only because this is
+a matter of presentation, not substance, but I think it's important
+that they be addressed.
+
 *Minor points*
 
 1.
@@ -75,9 +88,6 @@
   Also, later on the terminology used changes from 'recipient gateway'
   to 'receiver gateway' -- this should be reverted throughout.
 
-  I've listed all this as 'minor' only because it is a matter of
-  terminology, but I think it's important to fix it.
-
 5.4.1
 
   See above.  Here's a simpler version of this whole section:
@@ -125,7 +135,7 @@
   Receipt Message* as the form which the HTTPS response body should
   adopt when responding to an HTTPS POST request in the *Transfer
   Proposal Message* form or, as I read it at first, actually means a
-  _seperate_ HTTPS POST request in the *Transfer Proposal Receipt
+  _separate_ HTTPS POST request in the *Transfer Proposal Receipt
   Message* format is sent from the recipient gateway.
 
   That is, are we being told about a single HTTPS exchange, or two?