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1 Brian was my best friend, for nearly 50 years. He had a profound
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85
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2 influence on my life. From very early on, back in California in the
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3 late 1970s, we found in each other someone who did not find engagement
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4 with spiritual and scientific questions incompatible. We both were OK
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5 with acknowledging that there were deep questions, that really
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6 mattered, that we did not know the answers to.
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7
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8 I had grown up in a non-practicing atheist household, but went to
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9 Quaker school in Philadelphia, and became a Quaker myself.
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10
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11 Brian had grown up in a practicing Christian household, but by the
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12 time I met him was firmly _not_ a member of any denomination. Yet he
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13 has always insisted that we cannot do without what the churches and
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14 mosques, the temples and synagogues, hold in trust for us.
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15
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16 Despite those differences, I think our talk in those early days about
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17 our search for answers shaped our respective lifelong journeys of
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18 faith.
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19
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20 When Brian's father Wilfred was appointed by Harvard to lead a
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21 newly-established Center for the Study of World Religions at Harvard,
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22 he was interviewed by a reporter from the Boston Globe, who asked him
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23 "Are you a Christian?" After a pause, Wilfred replied "You'll have to
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24 ask my neighbour". It is possible to live a life in faith without
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25 joining an institution to help you do so, and I think we all know that
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26 Brian did exactly that.
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27
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28 I was going to tell the story of Long Ridge, but once I started to
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29 write it I realised that it would take too long to do it justice.
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30 Suffice it to say that there can be no greater proof needed of
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31 Julian's love for his brother than that he agreed to design and
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32 oversee the construction of a house with Brian, a world-class fanatic
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33 for detail, as his client!
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34
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85
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35 I have time for only one more story, that follows on from that one, in
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36 a way.
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37
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38 Early this year I got a phone call from Brian, rather late in the
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39 evening in Scotland. He was unusually agitated, very stressed by the
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40 first week or two of the actions of the newly inaugurated dictator in
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41 Washington, and he wanted to know if, given my long membership in the
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42 Quaker Meeting in Edinburgh, he could become a Quaker. I had to say
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43 that our normal application process took rather a long time, and
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44 usually was only initiated after someone had been attending Meeting
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45 for Worship with us for quite a while. But then I remembered that
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46 Brian had actually been married in a Quaker Meeting back in the early
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47 1970s, and he thought that it might even have been in Toronto. If so,
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48 the preparation for that would have involved a similar kind of
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49 process, and perhaps it would be possible for the Toronto Meeting to
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50 take him on. Well, it wasn't Toronto, it turns out, but Brian did
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51 start actually joining in via Zoom with the Sunday Meeting for worship
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52 here in Toronto. I think he felt the need to publicly associate
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53 himself with an institution that stood clearly and forthrightly for
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54 everything that was now, as he saw it, so much at risk.
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55
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56 Something else that we shared was a love of language. Words _matter_,
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57 and attention must be paid to that. We both understood that the old
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58 familiar words still speak to us. Words that have been spoken over and
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59 over again down through the centuries have great power, power that can
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60 still send shivers down our spines.
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61
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62 It makes sense then that we naturally turn to the old forms, the old
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63 festivals, the old words, particular at the specially good times and
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64 the specially bad times. They still have the power to move us and
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65 support us, to help us recognise we are bound together in a fellowship
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66 of love and care for one another, as we are here today.
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67
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68 In that spirit I'll use some old Quaker phrases as I come to a close.
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69
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70 Take heed, dear friends, to the promptings of love and truth in your
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71 hearts. We are witnesses to the Truth. Be patterns, be examples, let
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72 your lives speak, as Brian's most emphatically did.
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73
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74 I want to give thanks for the grace of God as shown forth in the life
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75 of Brian Cantwell Smith. Brian was a giant: physically tall and
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76 substantial, towering intellectually, a warm and tender friend, lover
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77 and husband. In the two 1/2 years since his terminal cancer
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78 diagnosis, although his body slowly degraded, he remained himself in
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79 all the ways that mattered. His life spoke, to me and to many, and it
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80 still does.
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81
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82 Brian's physical living has come to an end, but his life is still as
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83 real and true as the pyramids or the ignition of the Sun, and that
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84 life, in its entirety, is still with us. Perhaps my excuse for not
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85 being as devasted by his death as I expected to be is precisely that
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86 I've been used to physical distance from him for so long. He was with
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87 me then, and he still is.
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85
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88
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89 ...
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90
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91
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92
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93 ------------------
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94
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95 In the early 1980s Brian and his then partner Susan bought 40 acres of
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96 forest and scrub, including two giant redwoods and a _lot_ of poison
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97 oak, on the western slope of the hills south of San Francisco. It was
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98 two miles of dirt road off the nearest public road, off the grid, with
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99 only a dodgy drilled well for water, a diesel generator for power and
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100 a rusty old house trailer to live in.
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101
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102 At this time Brian was running a major research lab at Xerox Palo Alto,
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103 co-founding Computer Professionals for Social Responsibility and helping
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104 to create an interdisciplinary research centre at Stanford. But being
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105 Brian, with Susan's help, he put together a plan for a compound, got
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106 Julian to design it, scraped together the money to build it, and moved
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107 in.
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